This is for Grace

Attempt at a link

2008-01-25T15:15:00.001Z

As I am still not great at links, my new blog is called-

moo-moving-on.blogspot.com

Working hard again

2007-03-29T12:22:00.000+01:00

I went to the gym on Wednesday morning and did some CV work, I used the cross trainer and followed the programme that D had created for me. My friend and Kristi joined me and we even did some weights and arm work. I did a few squats with weights too, but now my knee is paying for it. The trainer keeps blaming it on the running, however, I have ran around 4k this morning and it is fine. I did a small amount of tummy work this morning also, and I will try to squeeze some more in later as I had run out of time today.

I had to pick up prescriptions for Grace as the pharmacy shuts early on Thursdays and had to get her a new nose peg as she broke another one last night and her Ineb takes forever without it. The man that is repairing the ceiling is coming out to acess it this afternoon so I needed to get my little jobs done so that I have the afternoon free.

Grace continues to be snotty and sneezy and generally not very happy. I have sent her into school as I think mainly she justs feels like she is ready for a break and she breaks up from school tomorrow so she has plenty of time for a rest then, and I think she is fine once she gets to school, its just that initial push. She has had so much time off since christmas that I think she is getting used to it.

I have stayed away from answering posts on the forum for a while (except for the odd few that are non controversial or humerous) as I think some of them get a little out of hand. For example the pseudo subject, I find it a struggle to keep my mouth shut when people say they are not going to let their children play with toys in the bath or dig in the mud in the garden like normal children do? Our children are normal for goodness sake! let them do the things they want to do, they'll get pseudo at some stage of their lives anyway, no one can prevent it. Grace has colonised pseudo but has a great life and doesn't appear any differently than most children, so much so that not many people know that there is anything wrong. She went to school yesterday morning doing her Ineb on the way because we were running late. I had parents saying 'Oh my god is she alright?' They were shocked because they did not know about her CF. I'm sure I'll have weeks and weeks of explanations now, but I don't mind just as long as Grace doesn't get treated any differently most of all by me, and oh don't even let me get started on the other subjects that wound me up...... maybe its time for my vallium today?

Road Runner

2007-03-27T17:49:00.000+01:00

Oh yes I was a road runner today, a bit of sunshine and off I went. Well actually I had to take my car to be mot'd, its very first one, so a lengthy visit to the gym was out of the question. I did my old training route, its slightly off road and I had to tackle some mole wholes but generally it was not too bad. Because I had a cold and have been 'a bit off' for a couple of days, my breathing technique was not what it should have been, but I did a straight 18 minutes and then intermittant 2 minutes back home which amounted to 26 minutes in total. I did some tummy exercises too when I got home so tomorrow I can concentrate on the other cv machines and a bit of a swim.

I dropped off my car at 12.00 and then walked into town, its amazing how much money one can spend when bored. I got a bargain hoody type top for £7 in the M&S sale (see Shadow I can hunt down a bargain too, I bet your impressed?) I also bought some trousers but they have to go back because they are a bit big and I tried the size down on in the shop and they gave me a bit of muffin syndrome, and got some nice vest tops for my holibobs from River Island.

Today so far I have had shredded wheat for breakfast with skimmed milk, at lunch I had a layered salad (well half of it) containing tuna, pasta, sweetcorn, mixed salad and mayo, followed by fresh pineapple. I seem to be eating more healthily but no weight is coming off. I am very puzzled, I just keep noticing a few more pounds whenever I weigh myself lately. Mark seems to think that its the extra gym sessions adding more muscle, if it is then I can't see any extra.

Yesterday my friend that lives in the Bungalow at the rear of my garden came round to borrow some little girls pants as she is a child minder and one of her children had an accident. When they came to the door, they just shouted woo hoo! and walked in, I had just done my roots and the rest of my hair was back combed up into spikes and I had just painted my nails so I had my hands splayed out waiting for them to dry. The little girl that she had with her cried!! I frightened her beyond belief. Its sad when I have to become frightening in order to maintain myself..... what we women have to do hey?

Grace has been good this week, so far no funny turns, so maybe she needed the cipro, she has been very tired but she has had a busy week digging in the garden and playing on her heelies and going swimming and then a party at a play area. I think it has really done her good to be able to get out in the garden and the fresh air.

Stinky cold

2007-03-25T22:01:00.000+01:00

I have had a rotten cold since Thursday evening, I could feel it creeping up on me and just knew that it was going to be a stinker. I've been really lucky and not had one for ages, atleast a year or more. It wouldn't stop streaming and now my nose has gone all red and crispy, I look like Rudolph, and its sore.

I didn't really feel unwell, just the achey face syndrome from constantly waiting to sneeze. The thing is when you feel a bit crappy, you still have to muddle on through with house work and making dinner and washing up and stuff. I thought I could snuggle up in the warm and read my book on Friday after I had collected Grace from school, but remembered she was going to Brewers Fayre for a birthday party, so I had to drag myself out and sit there sneezing and shivering for two hours, and I've had to go to a swimming party today aswell, but this time I was stiffling hot and sweaty yacckk!

So the gym has been a definite no no this weekend, hopefully I can go Tuesday morning, and hopefully Grace is having a normal week at school, she is already complaining of feeling 'pooped', i've just told her its because of her busy social calender and she'll be fine in the morning, but even so she is starting to sound a bit croaky today and she is almost a week into her cipro course.

My niece is coming to England for a visit next weekend and Grace is very excited, she absolutely cannot wait,(my niece has a daughter the same age as Grace) they are both looking forward to meeting up. That takes us into the start of the Easter break and then we go away for a few days on Easter weekend, and she has already filled up her calender with school friend play dates for the last week of the holidays...... somewhere there I have to manage to fit in a gym session.

2007-03-22T21:53:00.000Z

I've been to the gym this morning, I was supposed to have a personal trainer session yesterday morning but had to cancel due to Grace having the blood sugar levels test. I was luckily able to reschedule for this morning.

Grace did the test yesterday morning at 8.15 after fasting all night, the result was 4.6 and after a large amount of lucozade and 2 hours later the result was 4.9. The nurse said that she thought that Graces funny turns were due to the fact that when she is unwell or generally not 100% that is just how she reacts. She did say however that as soon as Dr S returned from his annual leave she would ask if he wanted to look into things in more detail. I did notice on the forum that a few people mentioned some blurred vision with similar episodes which remained undiagnosed and Grace has mentioned 'funny eyes' during hers. She hasn't had another one since Monday, but she is on cipro so maybe that is the reason behind it all.

At the gym I worked on the weights for upper arms and waist, I also did some squats which are killing my left knee. The trainer thinks I ought to get it checked out before continuing to run, however I feel that it only hurts when I'm forced to bend it for example whilst doing squats. It gives me no problems when I run. I did moan that I am not burning fat around my waist quick enough even if a baby elephant could probably stand on my stomach presently.

The suggestion was to move away from the treadmill and try the cross trainer, apparently she could make me a 'burn more fat' programme that is far more concentrated than running, well I could go along with that, I'm sure your body just gets used to doing the same thing and then doesn't feel the benefit, but as far as moving away from the treadmill goes..... yeah right! can I honestly see myself doing that? I am totally addicted to it, and to be honest I love running. Today's album for my run was Incubus full blast and very heavy, I don't know how I kept myself from bursting into an imaginary guitar solo whilst running, it was great fun. Mrs P you really want to add 'Rocks' by Primal Scream to your playlist for the x trainer, its perfect.

I only did 20 minutes on the treadmill today but I upped my speed and then did a further 15 minutes on the x trainer so I definitely did my CV and also because the personal trainer was still on the premises and I was pretending to stick to the routine she had told me to do today, but to be honest I really felt the benefit of it so she is absolutely right about the variation.

I have developed a bit of a cold the sort that gives you a sore nose and you scrunch your eyes up and make your face ache because of a sneeze that's always about to happen, so I will probably skip the gym this weekend. I am glad that I had such a good session today though just in case I don't get there til Tuesday.

The loss adjuster came out today to assess the ceiling, as its drying out the crack appears to be getting bigger, significantly enough apparently, for them to go ahead with financing the repair. If nothing else it means we can at long last get rid of the dreadful anyglipta on the kitchen ceiling.

Continued funny turns?

2007-03-20T13:07:00.000Z

Yesterday was a busy day. I wanted to go to the gym but thought better of it as Grace has again been experience her strange episodes. I took her to school and explained what had happened the day before and said I would be at home if I was needed, and sure enough at 11.15 I got the phone call from school saying Grace had another episode.

The teacher said she had gone extremely cold and lethargic and at one stage thought that she was going to either faint or fall asleep on the spot as her eyes were rolling.

I phoned the nurse when I got her home,but she was already perking up again. The nurse came out and checked her blood sugar levels and decided to change her onto cipro. Her temperature was 37.1 so nothing to be concerned about there. The blood reading was 48 or 4.8 or something like that, I'm not 100% sure. The nurse felt that that was a normal reading anyway, but before she came home the school had given her lucozade and an apple, so she is coming out to do it again first thing in the morning and again in the afternoon, but she does feel it will be normal again and remains as baffled as we are by the funny turns.

She has returned to school today feeling fine this morning and I have given her a dose of calpol just incase (she insisted on going back as she felt fine and its parents assembly today).

I have been to the gym this morning and I had a 30 minute run (and thats not including warm up or cool down) I did over 4k today. I found that I could also have carried on as I took my Ipod with me (I've only had it since christmas and its took me this long to fathom it out)its amazing how you just take no notice of distance when you are listening to something that you really enjoy, I could have ran and ran whilst being blasted out to the sounds of Origins of Symmetry (Muse)it also drowned out the sound of the cycle fit class and their dodgy disco music, every Tuesday morning without fail some sort of chipmunk singers and really fast disco music, very annoying.

I am going to afternoon assembly shortly but I have been instructed by Grace to post pictures of her comic relief outfit. The theme was to dress to represent a country. She was representing China even though the outfit came from Singapore via her globe trotting Grandparents. We decided to have a holiday after yesterdays gruelling day and the dreadful weather and the fact that I had to have the bath taken out again yesterday because there was a leak and it came through the ceiling into the kitchen and we have a big crack and, and help me think of more excuses?..... Well anyway we have booked to go to Gran Canaria next month. Should be fun, returning from Devon on 9 April and going to Gran Canaria on 16. I wonder if there will be any race meetings on at Newton Abbott????

Mothers Day

2007-03-18T21:01:00.000Z

Today, the plan to go for an early run just didn't happen. I was supposed to have been out for 7.30 and back before anyone had woken up, except Grace was so excited about her Mothers Day gift that she was awake at daybreak.

The gift was a card that was made to look like a cup of tea, she had coloured it in and drew some flowers on it, and inside there was a teabag taped to it. How lovely! I was overwhelmed. She had also learned Happy Mothers day and I love you in sign language and couldn't wait to show me.

I received a copy of a letter to our GP from Graces consultant requesting that she be started on tobi, yesterday. We always have a cc of any correspondance to BCH or our GP and I keep them all on file. However this letter which I will type a little of it, had a great affect on me this weekend.

The letter reads
We reviewed Grace in our paediatric CF clinic last week. We were fortunate to have Dr W from Birmingham Childrens Hospital present with us. Although only 6 years old we recognise that Grace has already developed established CF lung disease with chronic colonisation with pseudomonas aeruginosa. Although her symptoms do not affect daily living she does have established cough with sputum production. This despite regular oral and nebulised antibiotics, oral and inhaled steroids and nebulised mucolytic (DNase).

In clinic she had signs of lung disease. She does have moderate clubbing, an increased AP diameter of her chest and she did on this occasion have crackles at her left base. Despite being well her oxygen saturations (91%) were not normal.

Whilst in clinic it was mentioned that the reason for her problems of late were because it was more than likely growth of pseudo but due to problematic swabs nothing had been grown the were at a loss otherwise as to why she continued to have such low saturations. It was never mentioned at any time that she had now shown signs of lung disease at such a young age. Am I looking at this the wrong way? Should it be just obvious to me that she should be battling with lung disease already? Or should I be totally shocked (as I am) that dispite all of the preventative efforts Grace has developed lung disease anyway and now at just 6 years old. I can tell you this weekend has been a real battle to get my head round it. I am wondering is this just part and parcel to everything or is it something that should shock me right now, and if so why didn't they speak of it in clinic to prepare me or calm me or atleast tell me its as normal as developing pseudo or mrsa or anything else we now find as run of the mill stuff that we just get on and treat.

When you just read it and the words Lung disease are just staring right back at you from the paper work you just don't know what to think. I'm not normally phased by any of this stuff, but this time I am taken aback.

It really doesn't help that Grace, although her cold is drying up, has been feeling increasingly unwell. It always happens with her that way, she recovers very quickly from a cold and then the infection kicks in the following week. Today Kristie came for lunch, Alex was meant to be coming too, but he had one to many sherbets last night. Mark was working and Faye was working so it was just the three of us. Gracie lou made prawn cocktails, she mixed her sauce and added the other ingredients and put them all out in the dishes herself, she was very proud, and she even put one in the fridge for Daddy so he could have it when he came home from work.

Around 11.30 she had some maltesers and she had already had breakfast. I put dinner out for 2.00 she started to eat and about half way through she stopped eating and said she was full and didn't want a pudding and was going for a lye down. It turned out to be one of her episodes, I can't understand why it happened whilst she was eating, and it took her ages to recover. I took her temperature and it wasn't high. She tells me that she doesn't know how she feels, just a bit weird and cold and 'pooped' as she puts it. She did make a recovery, I made her a sugary drink but she only drank very small amounts over a long period of time, and then she started to feel it again just before bed time around 8.00, I've given her some calpol and she has gone to sleep. I'm wondering if she is developing an infection after the cold she's had or what else could be causeing it? Its been on going since Christmas.

Kristie brough gifts for Mothers day - a bottle of pink sparkly Cava from M&S and a new makeup bag and a gift voucher to spend in Bank. Mark made sure that I had gifts from all of the other children, they included a reebok step, new trainers, a new jewellery box and chocolates. He also bought me Pride and Prejudice dvd as he did buy it last year but I loaned it to someone and never ever got it back, so I was as thoroughly spoiled as usual.

Grace and I have decided we need a holiday to somewhere nice and hot and quiet and a big pool, and preferably within the next month!

Hope all of my Mummy friends had a great Mothers day, and I'm sure Mrs Thrackray had the best Mothers day ever! and a very Happy Birthday Emily love and kisses xxxx

2007-03-15T13:35:00.000Z

Went to the gym this morning, my friend M was having her personal training session so I got stuck right into the treadmill. I did 29 minutes today Mrs P! I also did some floor exercises but not lots because M had finished and we were going for a coffee together today. Thats ok though because I am going again tomorrow, yep! I've taken leave of my senses. Well actually I'm not going to run, but I am going to do a little bit of cardio vascular and mainly floor work and a bit of a swim because I haven't been able to this week. Hopefully I will make time over the weekend to do an outdoor run.

Grace has still got her cold but she is coping ok and has been at school with no problems. She complained the other morning that her heart was beating 'funny' and she felt a little dizzy. I gave her a paper bag to breathe into because it sounded like she was hyperventilating and it seemed to do the trick. I have heard of such attacks to others with CF maybe its because of the medication, but she is having her port flushed tomorrow so I will mention it to the nurse.

I have heard that Emily is doing so well this week and has been outside in the sunshine and eating for England, I am so pleased that she is doing well. I will send her a card now and some money to her 'do everything in the world' fund. I have been putting it off, a bit like when people tell you not to buy baby clothes until you get out of the danger period of your pregnancy. I am extremely confident now however after hearing such great news. I expect she will be going home in the very near future. Well done Em xxxx

Catching up

2007-03-13T13:35:00.000Z

After last Tuesdays run I went to the gym Wednesday morning as I had a personal trainer session. Highly recommended as they tend to give you a good routine, help you greatly with the areas you want to work on most and oversea that you are doing it correctly. I have one session every other Wednesday. This week we worked mostly on cardio vascular as I always use the treadmill but tend not to use any of the other cv machines to my best advantage. I found a better way of using the cross trainer to which I had been doing previously.

I went to the gym again Friday morning and had a good run and a swim and a spell in the jacuzzi, but hadn't managed to get there again until today. Todays session was a 27 minute run on the treadmill and I worked on abs, although I alternate what I work on I always tend to fit abs in most days whether at home or at the gym. God you would think that I look amazing for all the fitness I do, but unfortunately years of not being kind to my body is proving a task and a half to put right.

I managed to break Graces Ineb on Thursday because I forgot to put it on charge and let the battery run flat so it would not hold a charge at all and had to be returned for repair. They loaned us an old sherman tank type nebuliser and we have managed with that all weekend although we had to manage without dnase because you can't do it through those types

The Ineb was returned this morning in good working order again and I got a bit of a ticking off from Resperonics but thankfully no cost involved phew! However, since Grace has been on the old fashioned neb she has been dry all weekend even with a stinking cold the type that makes you sneeze every five minutes. I only wished I could have checked her sats too as she hasn't been able to use the dnase. I will report if there is a noticeable difference when she returns to the Ineb from this evening. She still hasn't started on Tobi as we haven't heard anything with regards to an eflow from Dr S but the kind people at resperonics have said that we can keep the nebuliser they loaned us as we may need it for tobi or probably more likely for anymore cock-ups I make!

For those who have been requesting photographs of my new 'hairdo' I have posted a picture, but it is side view as that is the only way I could show to maximum how much of my bonse is gone!!

I'm still around

2007-03-06T22:15:00.000Z

I've been out for a run this morning. It started to rain, but it was a short shower and I didn't get wet enough to notice a difference between that and sweat.

I have been going to the gym atleast twice a week but haven't got round to, or actually had much to report. I am gradually trying to bring 'road runs' back into my routine. This morning I managed 22 minutes straight running before I slowed for a breather. I continued running shortly after to make it up to 25 minutes. I was quite pleased with 22 minutes however, as it is very difficult to get back into the routine, its much harder than a treadmill, much harder on your legs, especially knees. I have noticed stiffness in my knees all day even though I did lots of stretches and a cool down walk afterwards. I coughed a little but not as much as my last run outside. I'm hoping to do another outside run this week also. Tomorrow I have a session with the personal trainer but I have no idea which area she is going to torture.

Grace had a clinic appointment today, she was scheduled to see Dr W from BCH but due to traffic problems we didn't get to see him.

Generally Grace was well and the dietician was pleased with her, but her weight had gone up drastically, this was no surpise to us as we have had to purchase new clothes as she has completely grown out of everything in the last 6 weeks due to the massive steroid dose she had. I told the dietician that although she was on steroids she hadn't actually increased what she was eating very much, but she told me that steroids seems to take away protein and the job that is done by it, therefore she is just gaining 'sitting fats' as she called it, whereas she would be burning it off normally, and hopefully it would start to burn off again. She also advised that she gets a lot more exercise as long term steroids aren't good for bones.

We also mentioned that she was still having some of her hypo episodes but we think that it is due to her not having a snack in the afternoon at school. She advised that she should try fruit everyday and if that didn't improve things then add in a biscuit also, she was concerned that even though she had a massive steroid dose she was still showing signs of hypos and was concerned that she would likely be a candidate for CFRD. The episodes however are less and she does have a quicker recovery rate presently.

Her SATS were again rubbish, even though they got her to jump up and down and take deep breaths they struggled to get her to 91, previously 88 on first attempts. This was the thing that concerned them the most, she has never had below 96 and then suddenly in the last few months they have plumeted. Blood tests showed that signs of aspergillus were low although signs of allergys were high, even though she doesn't show any symptoms.

These findings lead Dr S to try her on nebulised tobi alternating once a month between tobi and promixin. We will have to resort to an old fashioned nebuliser until we can fund an eflow, but currently they were struggling to find an old nebuliser.

We also spoke of Graces tummy troubles this month and we agreed to give her time to settle down after a difficult few months with being on steroids, having a tummy bug and also being on cipro and if things didn't improve they prescribed some gastrographin for us to bring home and keep in (that will be fun).

So generally she seems quite well even though things didn't sound great and hopefully all the other things will start to improve too.

I have had my hair all cut off today :( I decided I wanted a complete change and was tired of looking at a very tired looking lady in the mirror. I would have posted pictures but now I look like a street urchin from Oliver Twist instead of the more sophisticated middle aged woman I was looking for....... oh well

2007-02-27T14:05:00.000Z

Went to the gym this morning. I couldn't go yesterday, although I did get my bag ready, but after taking Grace to school realised that I had agreed to helping out the class with their traffic survey. So I got ready to go this morning and got held up only slightly because I had to wait for Mark to dry his hair so I could straighten it for him, (honestly I sometimes wonder how my family could get through the day if I wasn't around?)

I have set myself a build up target now on my distances, so today I did 27 minutes running on the treadmill and then worked on abs. I am going again tomorrow (she says optimistically) I hope to be able to run 6 miles by the time the next Hydro comes along.... so I had better put my best foot forward.

Grace seems to be settling back into school after a rocky start to the new term. She has complained of pain in her ankle so I have started her on nurofen as she has had this problem before with swollen joints, so hopefully that will be under control quickly. She is still coming home from school exhausted and saying she just needs to sleep, but after eating she is back up to par (how are we spelling the golf term Mr anonymous?) anyway she hasn't been having the afternoon snack or lucozade because they say she seems ok at school, but she isn't ok when she gets home and that could be avoided if they give her the snack regardless, so I will speak with the teacher when she returns from leave. She has also back on 10ml every other day of prednisalone now, and has been for a week, she is already productive and producing sputum during physio and after a coughing fit. So although she is on dnase and ventolin and flixotide and promixin she is still productive straight after the booster course of steroids. She is due in clinic on 6 March, thats about a week away I think? I don't know where they will go from there, maybe start her on another oral antibiotic, there were no results back for her cough swab to say that she had grown aspergillus so atleast thats a plus.

I had a message from a lady on Myspace who told me that she read my comment on the Guillemots Myspace and that she had a cousin with CF and thought that the lead singer 'Fyfe' would love to hear about Grace as he was a really nice guy. So I emailed him on their web page, and what was really nice, and it will please Grace so much when she returns from school, is that he personally took the time to email back. He said to say hello to Grace and that I should put her ballet routine to 'Sao Paulo' on Utube. What a nice person, so if you ever read this in your busy schedule then thanks Fyfe. (p.s. Sau Paulo is a Guillemots song). Could they go up anymore in my estimations?

I will look into the utube thing now.

Trying hard to go regular!

2007-02-20T11:46:00.000Z

Grace went to school yesterday after half term with a bit of a tummy ache. I had to go and collect her at 11.30 and she has remained on the sofa until this morning. As I thought she had a bit of a blockage, so we plied her with lactulose and prune juice and lots of warm water and hey presto! It worked this morning. She said her tummy is alot better, but still lingering pain in the background so I have kept her off today just incase there is more to come.

She has gotten a super appetite this week, I don't know if its a good thing or a bad thing. She generally goes off her food slightly when her prednisalone is upped (most people gain weight whilst on steroids) but Grace goes off things, she still manages to get a moony face though. Anyway she has now gone back to 10ml every other day and she has finished the ciprofloxacin course and is back on her prophylactic which is septrin. Which is probably what caused the blockage due to her system being a bit messed up. Anyway enough of discussing bowels, but its just an insite into the every routine of a family with CF in their lives (bowels make up a big percentage of the conversation).

Luckily I was able to go to the gym early as its Marks day off today, and although he had to call into work briefly he said I had plenty of time to go. So although it was the first time this week I had a very lengthy session. I did 25 minutes on the treadmill and my floor work and tummy work (same thing really as I do all my tummy work on the floor). I then did 12 lengths of the pool followed by half an hour in the jacuzzi, which I highly recommend to relieve stress.

When I met up with Suzie, Livvy and Shadow at the weekend, we discussed doing the Hydro again in September, I am definitely going to do it and I have already looked at hotels, infact I want to stay in the same one as last time, it was an excellent location and a very nice base. I also need to crack on with my training now, so hopefully I will get the opportunity to go more often, I feel its almost time to get back on the road regularly, I think by the beginning of April I will be back into my routine.

Hopefully that little girlie can go back to school tomorrow and the daily regime of lactulose, prune juice and acidophillus will resume now that she has finished the nasty cipro.

Grace received a present through the post this morning, it was a belated birthday present, a zip up top with a ballerina on, so that has cheered her up no end! Thank you Livvy xxxx

Valentines and all that stuff

2007-02-15T14:22:00.000Z

This week was half term, which means I don't get much chance to go to the gym. Although Faye is at home also, Graces incredible social calendar meant that I got to the gym only once.

We had a friend to visit on Monday and they stayed for lunch. Tuesday we went Ice skating, this time I didn't get blisters, but my new found bravery meant that I have a very bruised derrier and my friends husband has now started calling me Bambi.

Wednesday we went bowling with friends from school and today I have managed to get to the gym yayyyyy! I had a good run on the treadmill and did some floor work. Tomorrow I'm taking Grace swimming at the gym, we are going with my friend that I normally meet there and her son, and then we are going somewhere for lunch, so atleast I will get there in some capacity.

Last night was my much awaited trip to the Birmingham Academy to see the Guillemots, and they were definitely worth the wait. If you haven't heard of them check out my favourite of their songs on my Myspace. Grace really wished she could have gone, but as she is only 6 and it was a very smokey atmosphere, it was totally impossible. Its a shame because she really loves them and puts the cd on in my car as soon as we get in, she always puts no'5 on she calls it 'the whale song' but its actually the title track and its called 'Through the window pane' but there is a sound like a whale would make at the beginning. Still next year they will play the NEC and it will be smoke free so she will be able to go. (They're not scheduled to play there, its just my opinion)

Grace finishes her course of cipro and her booster course of steroids today. She is now back to 10ml prednisalone every other day and back on septrin from tomorrow. She has started to show signs of a cough the last few days, just as we are getting to the end of the course. She appears to be well and has coped very well this week with all of our adventurous trips out, but I can't really tell until she is back at school. She has a couple of weeks back in her normal routine before we have to see Dr's S and W at the hospital on 6 March, so hopefully I will have enough comments to make by then.

www.myspace.com/justmoox (just incase the link doesn't appear)

Graces wish come true!

2007-02-09T19:45:00.000Z

I went to the gym on Wednesday morning, I also had a session with the personal trainer (no Livvy, not that kind of session) she really made me work on my upper arms and abs. The abs were no problem I do those often anyway and I have no soreness, but the upper arms are killing me, I've never known such muscle pain! I finished off with around 30 minutes cardio combined between the bike and the treadmill.

Today I went to the gym again and worked on my abs and the treadmill. I never had time for a swim because I was having my nails done at 12. It would have been nice though to sit in the jacuzzi and look at the snow outside.

My arms are still painful beyond belief, I hope it eases off tomorrow so that I can work on them again.

The snow came down yesterday and settled enough to grant Grace her absolute wish. She has never seen more than a flutter of snow since the day she was born, I remember having a snowball fight with Mark, Kristi and Faye in a city centre car park when I was around 8 months pregnant with Grace and that was the last time I had seen snow like it.

We have had an invite to go to my nieces in Colorado next year because they often have snow and the real deep stuff too! Well anyway, Grace came home from school at 3.30 and I had to drag her and Faye and her Dad in the house because it was getting dark and they were all really wet. Grace has called her new friend Morris (I have no idea why except that she is just crazy) and I got a snowball down my back because I said he looked like a giant skittle...... but they had a fantastic time all the same, and I don't have to write to the Starlight foundation now to get snow delivered in a big lorry to our back garden.

Need for Speed

2007-02-05T10:49:00.000Z

I dropped Grace off at school this morning and did much explaining about how she is feeling presently. They mainly wanted to know what was wrong, they always immediately think that it is cf related, however, it was a tummy bug, normal childhood illness but takes Grace an awful long time to recover from it. Firstly she had the runs which wouldn't clear up because we can't do a starvation period as she gets very low (she describes feeling like being squashed to the floor underneath an anvil) good description I thought? and the need to eat is imperative. She lay on the sofa for around 3 days and we encouraged her to eat as much as possible but as soon as she started eating it she had enough which inturn either went straight through or flattened her even more to the sofa. Anyway today she is almost back to normal except she is very teary still and she has complained about pains in her back when she breathes in? She is having a bit of a rubbish couple of months poor girlie.

Anway, I have hardly been able to get to the gym and today is no exception, I need to do washing and ironing and shopping a hoovering etc etc and i've already had to unblock the drain (caused by bathroom people dropping all their concretey plastery bits down my drain) . So I have been for a run, I did 22 minutes and a cool down walk of 3 minutes back home and a few stretches in the garden, I could have ran a little longer I suppose, but my hands felt like frost bite was about to set in, it was painful! I will have to get some gloves for next time. Its really weird being really red hot and sweaty and having freezing cold hands?

Grace had a great party despite the food arriving at 12.15 when the party finished at 12 and whoever was left there took the food home! I had to deliver the party bags to each child at home myself! but she had a great time all the same.....

2007-01-31T13:42:00.000Z

I've been to the gym today at long last. I purposely didn't go on Monday because I had so much housework to do, but yesterday my day was just spoken for so there was no chance. I felt that if I left it until today then I could take my time and relax and have a swim and go in the jacuzzi, and thats just what I did. I went to my friends afterwards for a coffee and she gave me some choclate hobnobs!!!!........ and I ate them (one and a half biscuits though).

I am taking Grace ice skating tonight after school. Its her birthday on Saturday and my sister asked if we wanted to go, so I thought why not? Except now my sister has cancelled and Grace will be devasted if we don't go, she has told everyone even strangers in the street! I've never been before so hopefully and fingers crossed I don't break anything given my track record for clumsiness.

She is back into her school routine now, she was a little tired when she came home yesterday, but not as bad as she has been, but considering she is on 25ml steroids a day at the moment then its not great either. We still haven't had any blood results back yet, I don't know how long it takes not having been tested for aspergillus before.

My friend emailed me this week to see if we could meet up. I think it would be great and I am really looking forward to it, about time I met up with my Hydro friends again, and we need to start planning the next one!

Well off to do something constructive with the ironing.......

Back to normal.... well almost

2007-01-28T12:06:00.000Z

I haven't been able to get to the gym all week for one reason or another. I went Tuesday morning and planned to go again Thursday, then Friday, then today at 4, but again no one is around to look after Grace whilst I go, I suppose I could put her in the creche, but with her being nearly 6 I don't imagine for one minute they could keep her occupied for 2-3 hours, which is how much time with shower and doing hair and make up etc is how long I usually take.

So I decided to get out for a run this morning before Faye left for work. I did my old route, it was a little muddy off road, but it was good. It was hard going, its rubbish when they say that the random option on the treadmill prepares you for the road! I managed about 20 minutes non stop then did a 2 minute walk before continuing home, which only took about 3 minutes, and it definitely gave me a good work out because I am coughing again!

Hopefully with Grace being back to school tomorrow I will be able to get back into my routine, and I will most certainly get back out on the road now, its much easier to make time for that as opposed to the gym.

On the subject of going back to school, I have read on the forum that some parents are allowed to send their children to school and nursery whilst on IV's. I suppose if we exercise a little control and have a chat with the teachers, then Grace should be ok, maybe not go on the playground and skip P.E until they are finished?

Her appointment to get her line taken out on Thursday turned out to be a long morning, it was at 9.30, but Dr S wanted to have a chest xray because her bloods had shown a high white blood cells count indicating infection. She has a looser cough now, but I am guessing that the IV's have drawn that out, and Dr S thought maybe the same, but overall the cough was worse than at the start. He asked if she had improved any, I thought marginal but it was hard to tell until she went back to her daily routine at school. They have taken more bloods to see the difference from the onset of the IV's, to check her blood sugars and also to test for aspergillus, this was due to the fact that there was no sign of collapse on the xray, a small cloudy area to the bottom of her left lung, but which he couldn't really make anything out, so he thought the next step was to look at aspergillus. With that in mind he has cancelled her appointment at BCH on 22 March as Dr W would be in Coventry on 6 March so they wanted his input as soon as possible, but generally if its not aspergillus then what could it be?

My bathroom is finished, it looks very nice at long last, I had a shower this morning after my run and it was very luxurious...........now to start on the kitchen.... well not just yet, I need to get over this first!! I will post pictures soon, but at the moment Adam has his Ipod on charge and logged into ITunes so I don't want to mess anything up?

Got no toilet now!

2007-01-23T12:15:00.000Z

I went to the gym this morning and had a bit of a change to my routine. There was a special offer on this month and the personal trainers were half price, so I decided to give it a go. I'm always wondering if I position myself correctly, do my stretches correctly etc so a personal trainer (so I thought) would help me get things into perspective.

Firstly we did a warm up on the rowing machine so she could test out my cardio vascular capacity (are you impressed yet?) and ran through my likes and dislikes. I really hate using the bikes because they make my knees very uncomfortable, so I avoid them like the plague, she advised me to get my knees checked out by the Dr, but felt that working on them would help. So I have spent the morning doing 'steps' and squats and using weights (8lb weights) to work my upper body at the same time - (bingo wings, back and chest) she also watched me on the treadmill and said that my running was fine and that I didn't clench my fists when I run as alot of people seem to (?) but I should lift my hips and my chest higher to give me a better breathing capacity, and I must say when I made a concious effort to do that it really made a noticeable difference, and I have found that I am coughing again after todays session. She also ran through some of the machines with me so now I am far more confident in using them, but a I am totally crippled in the Knee area after all those squats! hopefully it will improve as the trainer suggested. I might even consider taking up personal training myself at £30 per hour!

I've decided to have a half hour session once a fortnight just to keep on top of things as I have felt for some time that I am working hard to keep fit, but am not looking as fit as I feel.

Grace is on day 12 of her IV's and seems well. She is regaining energy and wants every item she had for christmas out to play with! her bowels are taking a battering which isn't great whilst you are having your bathroom done. Thanks heavens for porta-pottys, especially today, we have been without a toilet for two and a half hours now!

The nurse is coming today to check Graces tobi levels (finger prick) and then she is due in clinic on Thursday morning to decide whether that is the end of the course. Fingers crossed then that she can go back to school Monday as I think she is really missing her friends.

We have a bath!

2007-01-20T13:35:00.000Z

I went to the gym yesterday morning and did my usual 27 minutes on the treadmill, I can't wait til things get back to normal so that I can go back to 3 times a week and have time to use all of the facilities (well most of them). I had to do a small amount of floor work and then dash in and out of the shower so I could take over looking after Grace as Mark had work to do.

I still had to use the showers at the gym, we have a bath now, but we still have the same old toilet and two walls fully tiled and one half tiled no flooring and lots of dust! I cannot believe the amount of dust? It was supposed to be finished on Monday,just finishing off jobs at that, but it is nowhere near completion, well atleast I can actually wash my hands in the bathroom now after I have been to the loo!

Grace has completed her first week of IV's and its taking its toll on her, she is very weary and teary, her bowels are in dis-array and she has big black rings around her eyes, but atleast Adam is back from sunning himself in Gran Canaria and she will see him today so that will cheer her up no end! She has been invited to a party in a ball area tomorrow, she is going but she won't be able to go into the ball pit poor girlie! still her apetite is good at the moment so atleast the party food should be good!

Update on Emily - well she remains on the ventilator presently, but she is stable. We have to remember that she was very poorly prior to the op so it will take a long recovery time, but I know she can do it1 So we are all going to send her pink sparkly get well thoughts and send thanks and our thoughts to the people that donated their loved ones organs at such a sad time for them.

http://www.livelifethengivelife.co.uk

Yay! I managed to add a link in my text! Have a look and become an organ donor today!

Thankgoodness for the gym!!

2007-01-15T19:40:00.000Z

(My bathroom?)
Well I wasn't going to go to the gym this morning due to the fact we have builders in, Grace is home on IV's and I had to take Faye to the Dr's with a hair folicle infection (yes I know it sounds crazy but she had to have antibiotics for it!?)

I went on Thursday morning and had a good run and did some floor exercises. Grace was at the hospital all day Friday so I never had the opportunity and never got it again all weekend. I planned to go first thing Monday morning, but I eventually got there at 10.00am, normally by that time I will have put it off until the following day, but today I needed to have a shower and wash my hair also. So I had a good run and did some floor work then had my much needed shower, it was heavenly (you'll understand why when you see the picture of my bathroom).

I sit here writing about her, worrying that she is able to do 'this' and able to do 'that' and she is sitting at the same time deliberating over which one is 'Chip' and which one is 'Dale' whilst watching 'The Rescue Rangers' and playing pizza topple on her own face.... kids!

2007-01-10T09:33:00.000Z

Went to the gym yesterday. I did around 25 minutes on the treadmill and met up with my friend M, she hasn't been since before Christmas due to illness and generally just being too busy over the festive period. I didn't manage to get any floor exercises in so I will do those today at home, but I managed to have a lovely long swim and a little time in the jacuzzi. I had to sacrifice something yesterday as I had to leave the gym and choose a new tumble dryer as mine decided its shelf life was over. In this glorious weather I am tumble dryerless!! and they can't deliver until Tuesday!

After ordering said tumble dryer, I then had to dash off and collect Grace from school in time for her clinic appointment. She has been having problems with breathlessness which is something that hasn't caused her problems prior to the last few months. She hasn't had much of a cough and that is probably due to the dnase treatment, I think it really suits her.

At clinic her lung function was down 30% on last time, infact the best yesterday wasn't as good as her worst last time (confused?) and hers SATS confirmed that things weren't going well. They were 88 on one machine, they tried another and got 89 and finally managed to get a 90, which Grace is usually between 95 and 98. I did mention to the Doctor that I had heard that dnase can lower lung function and she told me that it can but it usually balances itself back out and the length of time she had been on it, then it should have balanced by now so it was more than likely not down to the dnase. It would seem that she would have become far symptomatic sooner if she had not been on the dnase (which I wasn't complaining about because I am a big dnase fan so far).

With all that in mind they decided that she was definitely due a course of IV's starting Friday, her port will be accessed Thursday evening and then off to hospital for her first treatments and collect a skip full of syringes sterets saline etc!!

I was supposed to be going out on Friday night, and was quite looking forward to it, but can't imagine I shall make it now, firstly because I never drink any alcohol whilst Grace is on IV's unless she has had all 3 treatments for the day and I am still up and then it would only be one, and secondly if we are at the hospital all day it will probably be after 6pm before we get home because normally it takes a full day to get all prescriptions from the hospital pharmacy.

I also discussed the episodes that Grace has been having with the dietician, she seems to feel that they are 'hypos'? The Dr felt that it may be to do with the struggle she was having generally with her breathing just totally tiring her, but decided to test her blood sugars at the end of her course of IV's. She told us whilst it was happening to drink lucozade and try to get her to eat some biscuits. She said that if she didn't want to eat anything just stick a choclate in her mouth! (i'm sure that will be a hardship). The fact that she normally perks right back up again after eating makes me think it's 'hypos' but we will hopefully get to the bottom of it at the end of the course.

Emily continues to make pleasing progress, she is NOW OFF THE VENTILATOR AND BREATHING ON HER OWN,she has had a few problems, but they are normal problems that would occurr at this time after transplant, they are pleased with her progress and she remains strong. Go Em!!!!

I may have a couple of large glasses of wine this evening and make it my last for a few weeks! you never know I might even lose some weight?

BESTEST NEWS!!

2007-01-05T13:12:00.000Z

The very lady that spurred me into starting this blog and indeed my training, has had her transplant during the night. She is now in recovery and the surgery went well. I know nothing else at this present time.

I am truly extatic that she managed to drive herself on until those new lungs arrived. It is a sad day for the family of the donors, but very grateful that they made the decision and very proud of them to make such a difficult decision at such a difficult time.

The reason I began training was because of Emilys shear determination to enter the HAWC in Septembet 2006, and even after almost losing her battle during the summer she came back to walk 500 yards to the finish line! Because of this I have no longer taken my health for granted and still continue to train. There is also talk between my cyber friends that we may do it again this year. I for one, will definitely do it if they are all going again! Heres hoping that Emily can join us and walk all the way.

Yes I have been to the gym this morning, accompanied by my mobile phone so that I didn't miss any vital updates! I ran 3 miles on the treadmill and its a long way from my first days training, but its all thanks to one determined lady - Miss Emily Thackray!! keep fighting Em, I know you will fly through this! I can't wait to see you walking without a cylinder in tow and nasal tubes!!

Grace and I send you our love and wish for a speedy recovery. We will be thinking of you lotsxx

Congratulations you are certainly a champion in every respect!!

2007-01-03T12:03:00.000Z

Went to the gym this morning to sweep out the cobwebs! I can't wait to get back to normal now and take all the tree and decorations down. Its been a personally rubbish Christmas and Newyear, but Grace has been well and had a great time so that all that matters to me.

I've only done the treadmill today I have a hospital appointment later and lots of tidying up to do and preparation for going back to school tomorrow (Grace not me) she can't wait to go back and see her friends. She is currently playing scary music on the piano she had for Christmas she has mastered chopsticks now so we have moved on to scary music!? Its a pink Barbie piano and a stool and microphone, she adores it, but my ears have suffered.

Hope the Newyear brings everyone good health and good things. I too hope for a better year on a personal level, but as long as Grace has her health then things are good.

Been out on the road!

2006-12-31T09:41:00.000Z

This morning I was up early, well ready to go at 8! So, as I have not been able to go to the gym when I would have liked with the children being off school etc, I decided to go for a run before Mark left for work. I went out on the road!! its the first time since before I joined the gym. It was great! very refreshing. I did a 3 minute warm up and aimed to do 25 minutes and then 2 minute jogging cool down and then walk the rest, but I managed to run just about 25 minutes. I was very impressed with that as it was my first time out. Everyone told me that there wouldn't be much difference? they have got to be joking!! I found it quite tough going and I have coughed like a maniac since I've come back. But it was well worth it! I'll definitely try and do a bit of gym and road from now on.

Grace feels ok today, she slept most of yesterday afternoon and seems better for it. She has not been sleeping because she is obsessed with the house going on fire whilst we are asleep so Mark has replaced all of the smoke alarms this morning and tested them all whilst she was watching. She has been sleeping with me for the last two nights and Mark has been sleeping in her bed, its really funny looking at him asleep in a purple Bratz duvet.

We are going to friends for a joint birthday/Newyear party tonight so I am off shopping shortly to get some champagne and a birthday present. So I'll take the time now to wish everyone a Very Happy Newyear and hope 2007 brings great things

HAPPY NEWYEAR 2007!!!!

2006-12-27T11:27:00.000Z

After a reasonably quiet relaxing Christmas and Boxing day, I couldn't wait to go to the gym, I haven't been able to go since 23rd December!

I was there at 8.30 this morning, and did a 27 minute random run on the treadmill followed by some very nice floor exercises and stretches. After that I had a swim, and 10 lengths of the pool. I had time for a quick shower and tidy up to get home at 10.30 to find out that Grace and Adam had only just got up and were having breakfast.

Grace has been sleeping in the loft bedroom when Adam stays so that she can get used to staying up there. Hopefully in the Newyear she will be up there permanently as it is a huge room that only gets used when Adam stays, and Grace now needs more space. Presently they think it is a big novelty and stay awake giggling until the early hours, but Grace has never in her entire life slept until after 8.00 let alone 10.00! Maybe I should move her up there tonight??

Today Grace has a bit of a cough, but controlled by her physio easily, although she does have a really stinky cold, but remains well in herself generally. I really believe the Dnase has made a dramatic difference.

Now to tackle putting away all of the toys!

Drinking already

2006-12-23T15:24:00.000Z

Grace had her port flushed early on Thursday morning. The nurse brought entinox with her as Grace is ok until the amitop comes off and then the panic sets in!

She held the mask to her face herself and we told her instead of holding her breath when the needle goes in, to take a big breath of the entinox instead. Considering she is only 5 years old it went extremely well. The needle only went in on the third attempt so she was stabbed 3 times and never cried once! Although I do have a bit of a black eye, because she was so full of entinox by this time she dropped her head back and smashed me in the face!! it was so funny, I had to carry her to the sofa afterwards and her arms and legs were just hanging limp, she was like a 'Festive drunk'! and she kept saying "blah!" But the main thing was that there was no trauma!

She has been getting blood spots alot whilst blowing her nose. I thought it was just because she had a bit of a cold, but she is still getting it regularly. I'm not overly worried but she thought she was going to die from it this morning because she thought it was her 'blood sugar'. Its amazing the stuff they listen to and take in!! She sounded so technical! poor thing I managed to convince her that choclate coins counteract it.... and she agreed after eating around 7 of them!!

I went to the gym afterwards and did 30 minutes on the treadmill and my floor exercises but still no time for a swim. I had to go and pick up another new rug which I had ordered from Argos (why did I order it 3 days before Christmas?) anyway I like this one (don't ask)!! After that I did all my ironing and impressed myself! Mark has enough t'shirts and pants to take him into 2007 now, so I won't be doing anymore ironing until next year!

Today I have done my present delivering rounds and last minute bits from Asda and if we haven't got it now....... well we will go without. Merry Christmas everyone as I will probably not blog for a few days as the gym will be closed until 27th and I will probably be one of the first ones at the door when they open so that I can run off all that christmas pud!!

a quieter week?

2006-12-20T09:28:00.000Z

Well I managed to get to the gym yesterday and I'm going again tomorrow. Yesterday I did 20 minutes on the treadmill as I wasn't feeling 100% and floor exercises was a definite no no, my tummy couldn't take it. I wasn't able to swim either, so I spent the day shopping with Mark and getting last minute stocking fillers and christmas cards for people who sent me one that I hadn't remembered!

Hopefully tomorrow I can spend a relaxing time at the gym instead of the mad rush it has been lately. Grace is having her port flushed at 9.30 and after that I have no plans 'NO PLANS'...... no bathroom suite being delivered, no cakes to ice, no hoovering to do, no people to visit with christmas cards!! nothing!!!!!

Grace continues to be well, her cough is dry still and has been for the longest time ever. It definitely has to be the Dnase. She has her last day at school today before breaking up for the Christmas holidays so we have got rid of the final cards and presents that were adorning my dining table!! Now all I have to do is to convince Mark to get rid of the box of Tawn cd's and I may be able to have guests over at Christmas?

Mini Christmas cakes went down a storm, they too are now all gone. I am going to the place I used to work today (after bathroom has been delivered) to collect a further £50 from Reindeer food sales, luckily it seemed to have sold out even though the school decided to make their own this year. If I had known sooner Suzie, I would have sent you one through the post!!

Nearly Christmas!

2006-12-14T21:09:00.000Z

I went to the gym on Tuesday and did the treadmill and my floor exercises, and had to leave it there. I've not had a swim for a couple of weeks now and really wish I had the time! I was going out for lunch with ex work colleagues so I had to shower and do my hair etc afterwards, except I forgot my shampoo and had to wash my hair with shower gel, but it looked really nice afterwards strangely enough??

I was hoping to get a swim in tomorrow but its highly unlikely, I am taking my Mum shopping also so I will need to get my skates on again!! Hopefully I'll get one in next week. I have been so busy with things just filling up my day, i'm hoping to get the last of my cakes out by Monday so that I can have my kitchen work tops back, haven't seen them for ages and I'm sick of being able to write my name in icing sugar dust on the spare bits of worktop!

Strangely even though my gym sessions are down to two a week at the moment, I still seem to have lost weight, maybe its just because I am so busy I'm not finding time to eat uneccessary snacks?

Grace still has very little cough so I feel the DNase is doing the job it set out to do, I know I should be pleased, but I can't help thinking I would be more pleased if she had no cough without the aid of DNase or long term steroids, I just wonder if she would go seriously down hill if she came off them? or would she stabalise? I have noticed she becomes a little more breathless if she runs around or more recently she has created herself a little exercise routine in the mornings, partly ballet exercises and partly made up star jumps etc (its very funny she tells me that its good to feel the 'good pain' obviously a ballet term?) when she has finished she seems to take ages to get her breathing back to normal, which has never really been a problem to her before.

Grace is now very exited about Christmas and keeps saying she wished it was Christmas Eve now. with that in mind I had better get a move on and start wrapping again whilst she is sleeping.

Busy MoO

2006-12-08T17:53:00.000Z

Well since my last blog I managed to get to the gym Tuesday and Friday, I have just been so busy with reindeer food and christmas cakes that I haven't had a spare moment. Mark is feeling a bit more cheery this week, he has managed to secure a gig for the band at 'The Cavern' in Liverpool where the Beatles first started out!! and I think that has perked up a bit, makes him feel like he is useful for something.

Grace is well, although she is going back to sandwiches at school, she has decided that she doesn't like dinners now!! I knew it would happen! but i'm secretly pleased because the new routine messed her insides up terribly and she has been getting up at 5.30 every morning to go to the toilet!! but I have to get up too and sit on the side of the bath and avoid falling in half asleep whilst waiting for her to 'finish'!

Today at the gym I set my head in long distance mode and I ran 4.64K, with my cool down I went over 5k,which is very pleasing as I am almost non stop at completing the Hydro distance now! I probably could have done it before now, but never tried? I love doing the long distance now, I must have most definitely reached the 'wind at my heels' stage I heard so much about from runners. Afterwards I had a swim with my friend M and the jacuzzi for half an hour. I also went in the steam room today, I've been avoiding it as I got alot of headaches and I think it may have been the steam room? but I haven't had a headache so far. I had my flu jab yesterday at long last, my arm feels a bit like concrete, but nothing in comparison to what Grace would have to put up with if she got flu.

She has to do her school christmas performance on Tuesday, she is musician and will be playing the triangle!! My eldest daughter Kristie graduated with her Masters degree today!! I didn't go because she was only permitted to take one person so she took Alex her boyfriend with whom she lives, and also because she didn't tell me and kept it a secret!!.......Kids!!

Funny blog?

2006-12-02T14:20:00.000Z

Haven't posted this week because my blog seems to have gone all peculiar?? I am trying to sort it out, but presently have no clue?......

Hopefully it will be back to normal soon? I have been going to the gym and doing my usual routine. Grace has a bit of a cold and sounds a bit croaky. The cough is starting to sneak in a little now, but still she isn't too bad apart from her episodes of exhaustion.

She was dropped from one of her ballet performances today as she missed it during the festival and it was totally down to the fact that we had to leave to go to another engagement and needed to do all of her treatments before we went. The show had ran late by around 2 and a half hours and we couldn't stay any longer. The teacher decided to tell her that it would be a long time before she got another one for pulling out, and was apparently furious that we had! Firstly how petty and distasteful for telling a 5 year old that. Why did she not tell me? Instead she brought Grace close to tears. Infact we had only just discussed her dropping it anyway as rehearsals for two performances really was too tiring for her, but to do that out of shear spite was very sad.

Said teacher has not spoken to me yet, which is a shame because now I have a whole week to rehearse my speech on how foolish she is!

Getting back to normal

2006-11-29T12:48:00.000Z

Will I ever get back to normal?

Went to the gym today and Faye came with me as she has the day off from college today because of preparing her UCAS stuff and learning lines for a performance that got left behind because of UCAS. Did 25 minutes on the treadmill and 10 minutes on the rowing machine before moving onto floor work. After that I had a swim and spent a little time in the jacuzzi. Although presently I don't feel I need to lose any weight as I have lost pounds!! I'm almost 9.5 stone! but thats because of stress and nothing else.

Grace continues to be well, her nose is still getting a bit blocked and snotty, but no cough and no other symptoms, she is having a bit of a problem with her nose bleeding though?

Nothing else to report today other than the cause for the stress but that could take pages and I'm not ready yet.

Nothing much to report

2006-11-25T13:39:00.000Z

Went to the gym this morning. Did 30 minutes on the treadmill, floor work out and then skipped the pool and jacuzzi today. I met Mark in town for last minute christmas shopping and bought Grace a coat, and from there went home to get on with reindeer food preparation and baked a batch of christmas cakes.

I put a poster up in school for calenders reindeer food and cakes and I already have quite a few orders. Infact I received an order for 9 cakes after a day and a half! So I am sure I will be quite busy again!

A friend has written in her blog that she has taken stock of her life lately and wants to make time for herself and find out who she is and maybe find herself a new career. I read with interest and gave it some thought. I decided that I want none of these things, I have infact, discovered who I am, I love to stay home and bake and do housework and go to the gym and do the shopping! how shallow is that?? I've worked in admin for years and pushed myself to every deadline and never managed to earn more than 12,000 per annum. Maybe if I had found myself another career earlier on I would have felt differently, who knows? but would I have still reached the same plane in life? I just feel that I enjoy the life I have right now.

Grace still remains dry and cough free. She has quite a runny nose and it keeps getting blocked and then bleeding? but she is very well apart from that. There have been recent comments from teachers and parents at how clever she is, infact it was discussed about her going onto the gifted and talented children programme, or even paying for private school education. This prompts me to think of the future, should I consider it? should I allow her to make her decisions? Will she slow down and will the other children in the class eventually catch up with her? What if she wanted to just stay with all of her friends she had made. Would that not be better than leaving them all behind to further her education. What if she is dogged by ill health? I just feel that these are things that I just don't need to worry about, as long as Grace makes the choices.

Not had time to post!

2006-11-21T09:43:00.000Z

I didn't go to the gym Friday, Grace was really tired and lethargic and it was to the point that she was getting upset by it. I went to see Muse on Wednesday evening at the NEC Arena, and had a really good time. Faye and Tom came with us also. Faye developed a temperature shortly afterwards and ended up at the walk in centre on Friday evening with a terrible throat infection, she has only just gone back to college today. Anyway it meant that I had both of them at home and a Mum that needed her weekly groceries! So the gym was definitely out! Anyway I could always go Sunday..... not.... I spent the day at the dance festival which ran as late as normal! and then cooked a Sunday lunch (at teatime) which is about usual for weekends in our house. Anyway it was the last day that Grace had to participate in the festival and her trio took first place and she got a gold medal!! yay!

So back to the gym yesterday morning, did about 28 minutes on the treadmill, and then the floor workout and then had a long swim because the pool is fixed again now and it was lovely and warm, then I spent a little time in the jacuzzi (my favourite).

I went to the town centre to return some non fitting birthday presents and did a little christmas shopping and then met Mark at Starbucks for a skinny latte and a skinny ginger muffin! even though they were skinny, as Starbucks is above Borders we bought a Paul Mckenna Think youself thin book with a hypnotic cd to listen to and programme yourself whilst in bed! My friend has been doing it and has lost a stone!

Grace went back to school yesterday but she is still complaining about tiredness. She has quite a dry cough and can be a little productive when doing physio, but I am putting that down to the DNase. She is also complaining that she can't breathe in to her full capacity? she says it feels like there is a bubble down her chest trying to push it back out when she breathes in? I've also noticed that she gasps a little for air when she is talking or eating, a bit like when you have a blocked nose, but she hasn't? She was in clinic Tuesday and her chest was clear, but I have read an interesting thread on the forum this week about DNase lowering your lung function. I am wondering if that has anything to do with it? and the tiredness thing is a little worrying, she comes in from school and she says she feels so pooped that she needs to lie down immediately and she feels cold also and then after she has about half an hours rest and a snack and a drink she tends to perk up again. The worrying part is that she is on long term steroids and I wonder if its to do with her blood sugars? or is it just natural for a person with cf to have these episodes? sometimes I think its painful as it makes her cry, she says she just can't stand up any longer.

She is due for a port flush soon so hopefully I can discuss it with the nurse then.

I received my CF calenders today, I am extremely impressed, Livvy and Badger you should be very proud of yourselves. Keep up the good work xx

Bit behind this week

2006-11-15T14:50:00.000Z

Went to the gym on Monday, did about 24 minutes on the treadmill not including warm up and cool down, I left out the cross trainer because my friend arrived earlier than me and was way ahead!

I did the 1000 mtr challenge on the rowing machine, but didn't beat my record today, I think mainly because it was hot in the gym, I think the heating is on ready for winter but its very mild? I did all of the floor exercises and then had a brief swim and a spin in the jacuzzi.

Today was a very speedy session, I did the treadmill for 30 minutes and then 5 minutes cool down. After that it was just floor exercises. I had quite a lengthy swim in the pool as the jacuzzi was full of the entire rugby team! so I thought I would give it a miss as they were so rowdy I thought they might drown me by accident or something!

Grace went for her clinic appointment yesterday and all went well, we had quite a lengthy chat with the diectician regarding Grace eating in school. Its very difficult for her to eat in school without massive compromise (mainly on our part). She has to have her enzymes before lunch starts, ideally it should be during lunch, but as the EA gives them to her before going home at 12, then that is the best and only option really. She has had to have them at 12 even though she doesn't go into lunch until 12.20 this term as they have changed the way they do things, so children who have hot dinners go in first and the packed lunches go in afterwards. The diectician felt that recent tummy troubles were probably caused by this long wait after medication. The choices are that she could have school dinners and just 'up' the creon intake as they are probably very close on a daily basis in fat and calorie content, or, eat her packed lunch with the hot dinner children. She would still be with her friends from class so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable, but I don't want her to feel 'different'. I discussed it with her teacher and she said she would feel much happier if she knew that the creon had been administered by her or the EA as they had been doing as opposed to leaving it to chance that one of the dinner ladies remembered to oversee that she had taken it. Which I am happy with, atleast it shows their concern.

Apart from that the consultant said he would see her again in January providing she didn't become unwell before that time, so hopefully she will get atleast a 7 month gap between IV's. Well done Gracie Lou!! Woo hoo!

Bit of a waffle today hey?

Late blog

2006-11-10T22:52:00.000Z

It may not be wise to blog just now as I have consumed a large percentage of a bottle of baileys and now jd looks very appealing?? hmmmm!

I've been to the gym today, and did my usual stuff, I did the 1000 meter challenge on the rowing machine and beat yesterdays time by 20 seconds! yay! Ofcourse I celebrated in Costas, but I had a panini and very sensibly had no cake!

I have since spoiled it with alcohol (a very creamy one at that).

I loved it at the gym today, I met up with my friend 'M' and we had one of those days when we just laughed all of the time. I wish I could have those days with my cyberfriendy, but she lives a little too far away and I am missing her at the moment.

Grace is doing ok still, not coughing much really, but still tired and teary, although she has the first part of the festival to do tomorrow and I think she is very nervous about her routine, but she will be fine once she is with the whole troupe. She had her port flushed today and it went well even though I didn't pick her up from school early enough to get the amitop on, so she had to have the spray. She said that it did hurt so atleast we know that she still needs the amitop. She is due in clinic on Tuesday and I think its the first time in ages that I haven't got lots of queries really? I'd like to know if she can come of prednisalone soon, but I know that it won't be reviewed until March, so there is no point in asking about it. She has been having prune juice everyday since her last big blockage when she had to have two doses of gastrographin! with two pints of fluid which she threw up all over the sofa and defeated the object! poor lamb... she likes me to call her a poor lamb, sometimes I call her a silly noonoo and she corrects me " I'm not a silly noonoo Mummy I'm a poor lamb" cheeky monkey more like! She has also complained less about tummy troubles since she has been having a teaspoon of acidophilus sprinkled on her cereal daily. We also thought about giving he echinacea but presently she hasn't had a cold for a while so I think I will wait until I think she needs to start taking it.

Its amazing the things that you start to incorporate into your diet. Before Grace started to have such tummy troubles I would never dream of taking anything that I would consider remotely helpful to my digestive system, but both Mark and I take acidophilus now also, and its part of a daily regime for all of us! It makes me wonder if we hadn't have been affected by CF in our lives, would we be the people we are today? I like who I am now, I think that I am a better person with more direction than I have ever known in my life. I know that I didn't want to know of cf in my life, but its here and I have learned a valuable lesson.

Friend having a stinky time!

2006-11-09T09:56:00.000Z

I went to the gym yesterday and did a 27 minute run and continued with the rest of my routine. The pool continues to be cold (a problem with the boiler) so I spent a long time in the jacuzzi. That jacuzzi is very much needed. I love to sit there and just unwind, it is so helpful.

A friend has a son in hospital undergoing IV's at the moment, he is going to have an exploratory examination of his lungs next week, and the IV's are in preparation. He is at a hospital that is quite far away, so she can't be with him all of the time as she has another son with cf also.

Its very hard when you see them suffering and you think that you could just wrap them up in there blanket and rush off home with them. I felt like this when Grace was in hospital preparing for her port to be fitted, at any given moment I could have said "no you don't need to have this done so lets go" but the reality was she did need to have it done, and as hard as it was, I persevered and now things are less traumatic for her when she needs IV's. Its a tough time and I know she will get through it, and I know that right now it will be flaring every emotion that you have, but she will feel much better about cf generally once it is all over. Its natural to feel extremely anxious about everything concerning your children. I just know that you should get out and do something great with them once it is all over. The truth is we may have our 'special' children for a long time or we may have them for a short time, but most of all it should be a 'great' time!!

I'll keep my fingers crossed til its all over, and I hope that it makes her feel easier about cf afterwards. Sending big hugs because I know you need them xxxx and you definitely need to find yourself a jacuzzi..... especially ones with big rugby players in!!

Threw myself into it today

2006-11-06T13:30:00.000Z

After a weekend of absolute naughtiness (it was my birthday yesterday) I decided to go for 'the big one' today. I went to my In-laws for tea on Saturday and they brought in one of those big fat Thorntons cakes after dinner and I just had to have a slice. Then we had a bit of a bonfire and fireworks party yesterday and more cake was consumed.

Today I thought I might break the treadmill! For some reason this morning I was very hungry, I can only think that my stomach is getting used to large quantities of cake at regular intervals? .... so I had a banana. I don't know if that had anything to do with my stamina this morning, as I don't normally eat before exercise, but, I ran solid for around 35 minutes? it was the plan, but I didn't think I would keep going, and then continued with my new routine. As I have neglected the gym a little last week and the week before due to being in London and having a busy week last week, I decided to pamper myself so after my gym session I had a lengthy swim in the pool. It was supposed to be my treat but for some reason the pool was quite cold today? So I made up for it in the jacuzzi, accompanied only by another rugger player, I think he is Mauri (native to Newzealand not sure on the spelling?) I wonder if he plays for Coventrys rugby team? and if they all use the same gym as me?..... but anyway the jacuzzi was muchly welcomed today.

Grace continues to have a good dry spell. She has been pretty tired lately, but doing well. We had a meeting with 'A' regarding the Ineb and the conclusion was that although Graces breathing technique was incorrect, the Ineb was still not performing as it should. The Ineb has now been replaced and the technique is now in practice. Grace is due in clinic with Dr 'S' next Tuesday and I am quite sure they will be pleased with her. Fingers crossed.......

Getting back to blogging

2006-11-03T12:04:00.000Z

I didn't blog mid week because I haven't been to the gym. I normally go on wednesdays but felt a little under the weather. I have had another really busy week, and I am hoping that things will be a bit calmer next week. Grace will be in clinic on Tuesday, but thats about the only thing that I have to commit myself to, otherwise I will soon be running out of pants and socks because I haven't yet caught up with the washing!

I went to the gym this morning and tried out my whole updated routine all by myself - I did 27 minutes of running and followed by 10 minutes random on the cross trainer and then 1000 meter challenge on the rowing machine, ( I am supposed to set myself a time in which to do 1000 meters and then keep bettering that time)....so we will see. I did two lots of 10 situps in between each machine also. Then I went to do my arm lifts and some floor work. I do 4 x 15 sit ups on the exercise ball (thats really hard) and then 10 leg lifts followed by 5 planks with a hold of 10 seconds on each and then repeat those again with the leg lifts, and then lastly the rolling in and out of the exercise ball with my legs whilst standing on my hands. I look so unprofessional whilst doing that, I kept falling off the ball and twice it rolled away! Not good when a proffesional rugby player is next to you on the mats looking amazingly controlled!.. but very sweaty. I didn't swim or use the jacuzzi today as I had left my swimming costume in the washing machine, I really need to catch up with the washing.

I wrote a letter to Jamie Oliver a few weeks ago, with regard to diet. I am pleased with what he has done for the nation with regards to healthy food for children. Even when our children are given a licence to eat 'crap' really. But I feel that Grace should be eating good wholesome calorific stufff as opposed to what they were dishing out in school, I wouldn't touch that stuff myself. Although Grace is not allowed to have school dinners because of the varying degrees of creon. We came to a compromise when she first started school that some one could give her a set amount at the start of lunch break and then she has to eat around that amount, thats the only way we could keep her in school. So she has to have packed lunches everyday and we manage whats in her lunch box to the amount of creon given.

I had a nice letter back from the publicity people who look after Jamies interests saying thank you for the support and basically he gets inundated with stuff and can't reply to everyone. I wasn't really looking for a reply so it was nice that they acknowledged me, I just felt strongly about what he does and it sort of gives out the wrong message to a lot of people, but my Mum brought me up on food that was always prepared from scratch and never convenienced and I feel that I wanted to pass that on to my children, although saying that Faye did blow up the microwave trying to cook a jacket potato! so maybe I haven't quite passed on the family tradition as I had thought? Anyway in the letter it said that if you log onto his website there is a two week lunch box menu, so I am going to have a look at it and see if I can fatten it up in someway - it can't be hard, if you had a go at his choclate chip cookie recipe, you could get fat just looking at it.

I was hoping to go to the gym on Sunday but it seems very unlikely as its my birthday and Mark has invited friends over for a bonfire and firework party, so hopefully the routine will be back to normal by Monday again.

Update on the last week

2006-10-31T09:36:00.000Z

I haven't blogged since before half term because I just haven't had the time. I managed to squeeze a gym session in last Sunday before we went to London because I just didn't get the opportunity to go until Friday when we got back.

London was manic, we did so much that I can't believe we fitted it all in. We went to Madame Tussauds the first day we arrived and finished with a 'flight' on the London Eye which was probably my favourite part of the whole trip.

The next day we spent three and a half hours in the Natural History Museum, there is just so much to see in there, from there we went to the Science Museum and then we carried on to Buckingham Palace, walked up The Mall and then to Trafalgar Square where we sat down near the fountains and had some lunch. It was just the perfect day for walking and kicking the leaves in the Autumn sunshine. Grace amazed us with her stamina, she walked all day and enjoyed every single bit of the trip. We then got a tube to Covent Garden and watched some Street Performers and then went on to Frankie and Bennys for tea before going back to the hotel.

On the last day we did 'Oxford Street', no trip is complete without shopping. We started off at Regent Street and went to Hamleys first as it was raining, we spent two and a half hours in there and the rain had cleared up nicely when we came out. We also did a fare amount of christmas shopping so that was very pleasing. The only down side to the trip was the fact that we spent around £40 on the toys that were being demonstrated throughout Hamleys and upon returning home found that none of them actually worked. We also payed £14.99 for a dvd of us in the big brother diary room at Madame Tussauds (which was Graces dream come true) only to find that when we got home its all out of sync and the voices talk when we don't.

The rest of the week was taken up by ballet and tap rehearsals for Graces festival which takes place the first three weeks in November.

I went to the gym yesterday and I had sort of an appraisal with my trainer and we went through likes and dislikes and what I needed to add to or leave the same. I decided to drop the bike as it really doesn't agree with my knees (but I hadn't been doing it anyway) and we have now added in the rowing machine, but I think my knees might trouble me there also, but I will give it a try. My floor exercises have been added to, as my sit ups have become easier to do and I haven't felt like it was working. I added in an exercise where I look positioned to do press ups but my feet are on an exercise ball, but instead of using my arms I have to roll the ball in towards me and back out again with my feet, Its a very tough exercise!

I decided I didn't want to add to my running level, I am happy with the level I am at but I would rather further the distance presently. The cross trainer time was still the same but I have moved up a level, I only do it for 10 minutes but I can't believe how many calories you can burn on that machine in such a short time?

After that I had time for a quick swim and a 10 minutes in the jacuzzi as I was going horse racing yesterday at Warwick race course. It was a nice sunny afternoon and I had a lovely time. I even came home with more money than I went with. Typically the pool and jacuzzi were empty and I could have had them all to myself for quite a long time, but had to dash off today!

Grace has her Ineb back, and 'A' is coming out today to give us a bit of retraining, hopefully he will see that it is taking quite some time, but it was complete in 13 minutes this morning so that is an improvement. Now that the Ineb is here again Grace has supposed to have started the DNase, I keep putting it off for whatever reason I can think of. I don't know why? Maybe its because I don't feel she needs to start it just yet, or maybe because she is such young age and she is starting these things already so what happens when she is older? where do we go from there? I always thought that she would need such things when she is struggling more at an older age, and here we are five years into it and she needs them now? I know that its all irrational thoughts, and its better to treat now whilst we have such facilities, but I can't help thinking its an admission of things going down hill already. Mark has said lots of times not to think that way, but try as I might, its in my head.

Grace has continued to be croaky and her nurse said that her throat was a little read and she has probably picked up a virus. She has had no other symptoms, no temperature, no feeling unwell? She has coughed up more specimens of late, and we sent some off to get checked. The nurse phoned yesterday to say that she had grown nothing from the sample, and as her cough hadn't worsened, then she could remain on her prophylactic presently. She is due in clinic next Tuesday so I think I should get on with the DNase so that they have some sort of report to be getting on with. Especially as its sitting in my kitchen cupboard and costs £7000 a year!!!!!

Well I have updated you all haven't I? Suppose I ought to go and do some housework now, in time for the trick or treaters to mess it all up again later!

Get as much in as I can

2006-10-20T21:29:00.000+01:00

Went to the gym a little later this morning. Grace had her flu jab appointment at 9.45. She was very upset about it this morning, she got very nervous sitting outside the nurses room, poor little girl. She started to cry in anticipation but the nurse was quick and got it over and done with, but she continued to cry for a bit and took some cheering up, but she has been a little more sensitive than normal lately. She was consoled however when the nurse let her keep a cotton wool ball??

Also she trialed DNase on Tuesday, and she was fine, but they did say however, that the side effects would make her a little croaky and a bit of a dry throat. When she woke up this morning she could hardly talk and when she did she squeaked! Grace and Faye found it hysterically funny and spent the morning singing Scissor Sister songs and whooping with laughter!

This evening she did a poor physio as her arm hurt and her throat hurt, but I let her get away with it to a degree. I have realised this evening that I have lost a couple of boxes of colomycin, I put them away when we moved on to promixin, but now that we have had to use a normal nebuliser I've had to rely on the colomycin and we are going away early Monday morning and I will have to try and get an emergency prescription tomorrow as the Ineb hasn't been returned to us yet. I can't get my head round things some days, there is just so much to remember. I have searched the house out for said colomycin and its just disappeared off the face of the earth, and ofcourse it will only return once I have struggled to get another supply.

At the gym this morning, because I arrived later than normal, I went straight for the treadmill where I did around 35 minutes including a warm up walk and a cool down for 3 minutes. I did random again at around 8.0 to 8.5 changing the speed depending on the gradient. I did a further 10 minutes on the cross trainer then 10 lengths of the pool and a quick 10 minutes in the jacuzzi. This left me just enough time to meet Mark at Starbucks at 1.30 (sorry Livvy). I always feel so lovely and refreshed after leaving the gym, a sense of wellbeing because I have worked hard. I have noticed that people don't often run as long on the treadmill as I do, and they all seem to do manual, which is just a flat run with no gradients. I could run at 10 - 10.5 like that for around 40 - 50 minutes, but I think I need the challenge and it will be easier for me to move back into road running if I do it the hard way.

I am looking forward to my break in London in a few days, I'll need it because I have ordered the materials I need for Reindeer food, so I imagine, judging by all of the requests I've had already, that I will have very little time for anything else for a few days. Its never ending......

Mark has gone out for the evening, but for a curry with friends for a change, he has been out with the band most of the week, I seem to be a 'subwoofer' widow (technical equiptment that sound engineers use?) or so I am reliably informed, oh well atleast I get the tv to myself.

Hoping to go to the gym on Sunday this week as I will be away from Monday and I will struggle to get there again until Thursday, I am quite panicky about this, but my knees are quite looking forward to the break!

Back again

2006-10-18T11:58:00.000+01:00

I have been so busy this week, that I haven't really had a lot of time to post. well thats not strictly true, I did do a small post, but messed it up trying to add a link, so in the end I had to delete it and then didn't have time to do another.

I have been to the gym today and I went Monday, I did my usual routine, but today I've speeded things up a bit, I omitted the steam room and I didn't stop for coffee, also I started at an earlier time so I left for 11.30 as its seems that the gym takes up a lot of my week.

Yesterday the Ineb people collected Graces machine to have a look at it. They sent us a very old portaneb on loan, but it has to be collected today as it sounds like it is about to blow up! Luckily Grace trialled DNase yesterday at the hospital so they were able to loan us one. I am increasingly concerned that they are going to blame us for the damage and charge us for the repair, they are very expensive and we can choose not to pay, but then we have to opt out of the Ineb trial programme. I don't think that we have done anything to it, it just seems to have gone wrong gradually from day 1? but am worried all the same.

Grace appears to be very well, and her cough is reasonably dry, and everyone at the hospital that hasn't seen her for a while said 'hasn't she grown' doesn't she look well?' .... which she does, but she has been getting tired very easily lately and very teary. We went out on Sunday to do a bit of shopping after rehearsals, but we had to come home so that she could have a sleep on the sofa she was absolutely pooped! and this is normally the time when she will really cry because she just can't cope when she is that tired. I don't think that she is going to come down with anything, but it just drives home how sometimes she just can't cope with everyday stuff. Today when I took her to school she was chasing boys around the playground however, but she did come back saying 'I'm really out of breath now!'

We are going to London for a few days on Sunday, and I am really looking forward to it. It was Graces idea, she has wanted to go ever since I went to do the Hydro, and she is desperate to go to the Natural History Museum and on the London Eye, so we decided to go at half term. We will be staying near Marble Arch so I can still get my shopping in though!!!

Firstly before our nice weekend away though, we have to get the dreaded flu jab out of the way on Friday, so fingers crossed we can get it over and done with quickly arrrgghhhh!

Routine day today

2006-10-13T16:26:00.000+01:00

Went to the gym at 9.30 this morning, and completed all of my tasks. I did 5 minutes warm up on the bike to get my legs moving, which I hate!! and then 25 minutes random on the treadmill, followed by 10 minutes on the cross trainer. After that I did some work on my tummy and upper arms and then onto the swimming pool where I did my usual 10 lengths before spending a little time in the jacuzzi today.

I left my self some spare time so that I could get Grace a new leotard for her tap class. I also bought her some dance trousers and a skirt, but the trousers are too tight across her tummy as it is rather distended and if I get the next size the legs will be too long. So she is quite happy that she atleast has a skirt.

The new Ineb part and the new part for the DNase arrived today. Grace has to go to clinic on Tuesday afternoon to trial the DNase for the first time. It will be a 6 month trial to see if it makes a difference and also to see if she is compatible with it. Hopefully we can get back to normal now the new drug chamber has come?? just hope it lasts longer than the last one.

Sisters special birthday today

2006-10-11T20:37:00.000+01:00

I went to the gym alone today. I had all the good intention of getting my routine done and then heading off home to get some jobs done. I arrived around 9.30 and went on the bikes in the cv area. I don't like the bikes, they bore me and I've got dodgy knees and they hurt when I use the bikes. So I did a 5 minute warm up on the bike and then I went straight to the treadmill (my favourite) I love just pushing myself to the limit on this! and then watching all the information in front of me whilst I do it, its great!

I did 25 minutes random run at 8.5kph (I think?) when it is set to random the machine automatically changes to add and remove inclines as you are running. I managed it and then did a 6 minute cool down. After that I did 10 minutes in quick work out mode on the cross trainer. After that I was suitably sweaty so headed downstairs to do some tummy work. I am still finding this really hard to do on the physio ball, but its really working, I couldn't cough last night as my tummy hurt so much! I did some leg lifts and used the weight machine which gets rid of flapping flab on my upper arms and then headed off to the pool.

I did 10 lengths of the pool, and then went in the jacuzzi, it was amazing today, because the jacuzzi is in a sort of conservatory, so that you are surrounded by windows, and it was really pouring with rain and there was thunder and lightning too! and I just sat there and watched it all whilst bubbling away in the lovely hot water. I spent about 10 minutes in the steam room, but that was cut short by a man that told me about when he had an enema in hospital?? I've never seen him before in my life eeeeeyyuuuu!

When I got home (at 12.30, I did try to get home earlier, honest?) I continued my sensible day of looking after myself with a light lunch of a cup of tea and a thorntons chocolate marzipan bar....... well it was dark chocolate, its much better for you than milk chocolate.

It was my sisters birthday today, her 60th, I wanted to go to the crematorium to take her some flowers,but the weather was vile and I would have needed my wellies. The weather should be dryer tomorrow and Mark has the morning off work, so we will go together and take some, and give her a bit of a tidy up, get rid of old flowers and pull up any weeds. Her name is Christine, hence Grace is Grace Christine. She would have loved Grace but never got the opportunity to meet her, probably just aswell, Grace would have run her ragged!

Happy birthday Chris, still in my thoughts every single day, there is never a day when I don't think of you, or smile at your photo and blow you a kiss xxxxxx

Well I think I am going to bed early tonight as I am pooped!

Enrolment day

2006-10-09T14:18:00.000+01:00

Been to the gym again today. I have now officially enrolled. I have gone for the off peak option, but still feel extremely guilty. I convinced myself that I don't do an awful lot socially and everyone else in the family seem to have things that they consider to be 'me time' and I feel that its something that is really relaxing, and helps me to have 'me time'. I had a personal trainer today to take me through a routine which I will now keep to for the next 3 weeks and then it will be reviewed. She gave me a 20 minute work out on the treadmill which was programmed as random, which meant it adds inclines at different stages so that it feels more like I do when I run outside. I will probably add some extra time to that when I am ready as I like to further my distance atleast on one occaision each week. I used the cross trainer and did my warm up on the bikes, after my run I used the arm weights (to get rid of my bingo wings) and used the exercise ball (physio ball - trainer looked at me gone out when I called it that!) to do some sit ups on, which is very hard, because you have nothing to lean back on so you have to carry your own weight! followed by 10 lengths of the pool and a little spell in the steam room and jacuzzi. This plus enrolment took me up to 1.pm today, so I need to work on my speeds!!

I need to phone the Ineb people today as Graces Ineb is taking up to between 7-10 minutes so I think the filter is kaputt? I have worked damn hard to keep safe, but it still seems to have gone? I don't know if its because of this but her cough seems to have built up again this week? but she seems well in herself and she has complained less about her tummy over the last two days.

I booked her in for her flu jab this morning, and because she takes priority, they can do it on the 24 October?! I'd hate to think when non-priority will get theirs? but she seems to be fine and the weather with its nasty colds hasn't really taken hold yet, so fingers crossed she will be ok.

She told me yesterday that she wished she didn't have CF because she hates it. I asked if it was because it made her feel poorly? but she just said because she hates doing physio and taking nebulisers and all of her medication etc, it must be really hard to be that serious about life at such a young age.

There was a post about intelligent kids on the cf forum, saying do you think that cf kids are more intelligent because of a 'natural' compensation because of the cf? Grace is super intelligent for her age, she reads fluently with such ease, she has a very enquiring mind and she is a whizz with the computer, do you know a child that can use microsoft word and use clip art print pictures and write a story to go with it and then save it to file? or use search engines on the internet to find whatever she feels like that day? I don't think it is really to do with a natural compensation, but I do feel that because they get so much more attention from adults and are effectively expected to take on board such adult issues at an early age, and that it is acceptable, that it follows on in all other areas of their little lives.

Without doubt she is intelligent beyond her keystage, and hopefully it will continue because it later life she might miss so much school due to illness. We also work hard to teach her at every opportunity, this was a concious effort on our part (Mark and I) for the very reason that her illness might keep her out of school.

I'm feeling very relaxed presently, i'm sure its because of my time at the gym, but now I have to go do some birthday shopping for my great niece as she will be 6 at the end of this month and in very much need of some pink princess stuff!! Its her Mummys birthday also tomorrow, so if you are reading! Happy birthday, have a lovely day and I will phone you soon xxxx

Second trial at the gym

2006-10-06T20:37:00.000+01:00

Went to the gym again today for my second trial day. It was good. I went straight for the treadmill again, and I did a 5 min warm up walk and went straight into a jog for around 28 minutes. I started on 7.6 kph and then upped it to 8.5 till I had done around 15 mins then I went mad and went to 9.5 and then right up to 10!

I was on the treadmill for 35 minutes including the cool down. After that I tried the other cv stuff, it was great! I then went for a swim, but didn't use any of the jacuzzi or steam rooms today. We had a coffee afterwards and a chat with a member of staff about the prices. Well I think I struck up a good deal and I am going to enrol on Monday, and meet personal trainer!!

I've thought long and hard about this gym, and I have talked myself in and out of it all week, but I have decided that I don't do much socially really and I have enjoyed it so much, and thats what counts, its something that just seems to fit in right now.

Grace was lying on the floor in front of the mirror this morning doing exercises, she seems fascinated by the fact that I go to the gym and Mark keeps fit? Its a good thing, maybe she will be lead by our example? Her cough seems to have stepped up again towards the end of this week? I will give her til Monday and then phone her nurse to see if we need to try something different? but she seems ok for now, although she has had a day of school with a rubbish tummy again this week and she has complained about it a few times. Maybe its time for gastrographin again?

A lovely time today

2006-10-03T14:23:00.000+01:00

Today, I had a taster day at the local gym. I have been thinking of joining for some time now, and because of the changing weather and dark nights and mornings, I have been a little worried about keeping up with my running. It's so easy to stay in bed because its raining or its too dark. I had to wait half an hour on Sunday until it was light enough to go out running and then I only just made it back before we had terrential rain! (Apologies if its spelt wrong, never written that word before?)

So I met my friend M at the gym car park at 9.30, and to be honest, because we have two free trial days (another on Friday) before we have to make our decision, I was considering joining another gym closer to home, well about five minutes difference, but it doesn't have a pool, I had already resigned myself to the fact the other gym is massively more expensive, but if it was a free trial, well may as well trial it then?? But I wasn't prepared for the totally amazing experience! It is out of this world! Kristi is already a member there as she works just across the road for Jaguar Cars, and she has been telling me how fantastic it is and I should join, blah blah! and I yawn and say for that price?!

Well we were shown around, the gym, the studios, the shop, the pool, the saunas and steam rooms, the costas coffee bar, the restaurant, the cardio vascular area.... which is straight where I headed! I went on the tread mill, I started off with a five minute walk and then stepped it up to a jog, and then a bit more and then a bit more. It was so addictive! I ended up doing 4.66k at 8.5 something or others!? then I hit the cool down button, which was really funny because it one stage I was too slow for a jog and too fast for a walk and I ended up doing giant strides, but gradually it stopped and I stepped off to do some stretches..... bearing in mind that I have never been on a treadmill before, and after 40 minutes worth, I had this funny motion thing going on?? a bit like when you get off a boat or a trampoline and you feel like you are still moving. Well I was all over the place, I had to lie on the stretching mats and do my stretching lying down, which made me look really good but really it was because I couldn't stand up. I tried out some of the other cardiovascular stuff when I had returned to earth, but not for too long as my friend M is a complete beginner and had done enough by then to merrit some nice blisters on her heels and a rosy face. So then we headed for the pool, had a lovely swim, tried out the jacuzzi, never been in one before and I have to say it was a bit ferocious, but even better we seemed to get surrounded by a rugby team! which was all very pec-tacular! (sorry but there was some pecs floating around) after that we went to the steam room, which was errm?... pleasant, but I had a shower straight afterwards which was nice and cooling.

After we had lunch and now I am at home feeling very refreshed and can't wait to go Friday! What a lovely time I had, and not only that, there are so many things that Grace can do there if I am a member, she would love it, and get very fit into the bargain.

Well it will be time to pick her up from school soon, so I must return to the planet of ironing and get it finished

Full Circuit!

2006-10-01T10:28:00.000+01:00

I was awake and 5.20 this morning! I was waiting to do my run, I get all panicky if I've had a good run, because I feel as if I have to match it next time out, and I know I can't always do that.

Anyway I was still awake when the alarm went off at 6.30 but it was still a little too dark to go out running. I have decided to join the gym now so that I can use the tread mill as I think the dark mornings and the awful weather may be a bit of a challenge. I spoke to a friend who is a seasoned 'runner' and told him of my concerns regarding the different pace or style of running on a treadmill and that I was worried that when the summer months returned would I find it difficult to go back out onto the 'road'?? he said that as long as I was keeping up with stamina building, maybe incorporate some cross training, that he never had any problems changing back to the road, so I think that has helped shape my decision.

Anyway I set off at 7.15 and went for a five minute walk and then went straight into a 25 minute run. I always convince myself that if I am too tired, once I have passed the 20 minute marker that I will stop as I am quite happy to finish there these days, but normally once I have rounded the corner of the dreaded long avenue, I am, for some reason very happy to continue. I reached the 25 minute marker earlier than I did on Thursday, indicating that I had run a little slower today, but only marginally. I decided to reset the timer whilst still running (a challenge in itself) for an extra 3 minutes because I felt today that I could pass the full circuit marker. I did actually pass the marker and keep going, I decided to run the full 3 minutes, and then stopped on the timer. I could have probably continued to 30 minutes, but I was ecstatic that I had not only passed the full circuit but ran for 28 minutes!! Next run I will probably be awake worrying about it at 4.00am!

Grace is well, her cough is dry, we are going to Warwick racecourse today to watch a spot of Arabian horse racing! so she will be getting lots of fresh air. Hopefully now this good spell will keep going.

I have read on the forum today that it would have been the anniversary that Craig had his transplant 3 years ago and it would have been his 'new birthday'. So I just wanted to say to Lainey that I am thinking about you and the family and I know how hard these milestones are to get through and sending love and prayers to help you along........... xx

Such good Friends

2006-09-28T12:03:00.000+01:00

Today is a better day, I have had a good run, I ran for just under 25 minutes, I was short of just 37 seconds, but I did do 'the hill' its a really steep hill, which then plateaux's out (don't know about the spelling?) and you just get time to get your breathing back in pattern and the burn out of your legs before there is a steady incline again. I got to the stage where I thought if I don't stop I'm just going to run into the floor! and with only 37 seconds left on the countdown I was more than pleased. The only annoying thing was that I could actually see the marker where I start from!! I was in viewing distance of doing a full circuit! I'm nearly there!

Probably next time I will stop after 15 minutes or something ridiculous, its normally the way, I have a good run and then can't be consistent. But give me another week and I think I can get there, the only thing is once I have worked my way upto 30 minutes then I will be really far away from home again, and will have further to walk back as I progress, I may have to redesign my route?

I've learned from my last post how many good friends I actually have, and I am very grateful, but you will be pleased to know that I am feeling better today. I went to a church alpha meeting last night. It was a very nice Jazz evening and a 3 course dinner, during my time there I was invited to attend the alpha course. I am presently giving it some thought. I am not religious, or I never have been, but consider myself to be spiritual... maybe its what I am looking for? who knows?

Grace continues to be well presently, her cough is pretty dry, her physio is leaving a little bit to be desired, I have to push her quite alot presently, but I think its all due to her tiredness and still struggling to cope with being back at a full days school, and the fact that she has a busy schedule rehearsing for a dance festival in November where she will be performing 'Toot Sweets' again and also has the lead in a trio where she is 'Tigger' ! We are both very excited about that. Meanwhile she is still in practise as an Angel and theres pictures to prove it...... However, I think she still needs to work on it as I don't think Angels go to bed in 'The nightmare before Christmas' pyjamas??

Silly Blogger!

2006-09-27T09:46:00.000+01:00

Yes I did run yesterday, it was very hot and I managed 17-5 with a 1 minute walk in between. Its just the blog was playing up and wouldn't let me in to do anything. I also had to do a bit of birthday shopping for Mark as its Friday and I still haven't got anything, well I came home with one item as I don't know what to get for him?

I'm very down at the moment and struggling a little with everyday so running sort of helps me to get it out of my system. I think when I have concerns with other areas of my life, I find it difficult to cope with any of them without putting Grace at the front of all of my thoughts and how all of it will affect her, which then makes me feel much worse.

Sometimes I have such a fear of dread inside, and I don't know how to make it go away. The worst thing is that if Grace is anything like me, she will have that same feeling inside when she realises her illness and my worries are nothing in comparison, I have atleast some sort of control over my feelings, but for Grace that underlying worry will always be there, and knowing that she will feel like this and I can't help makes me feel useless.

I'll be back after I have run on Thursday before I depress you all as much as I have depressed myself! Blogger permitting ofcourse. I am also going to a church alpha meeting this evening, maybe they will have some words of wisdom for me?......

Good run today

2006-09-23T09:49:00.000+01:00

I haven't had much time to myself this week, hence not having posted. I ran Wednesday morning, and I did 17 minutes and then after a short 1 minute walk I ran a further 6 minutes. I felt as if I could go on but it was a hot day and I find it difficult to reach my targets all in one go on such days.

I have been out for a run this morning, I missed yesterday due to the fact that I run after I have taken Grace to school and then I had visitors in the morning and had to take my Mum shopping, so I then got lost in a mass of 'things to do' and it just never quite panned out. I went out at about 6.45 this morning, I love to run at this time, its quiet and the temperature is good and it makes running very easy for some reason? I just tend to mull stuff over in my head and before I know it i'm over half way. I set my alarm for 22 minutes today even though I think that I should have moved onto the 25 minute target, but because I have been inconsistent then I just went for 22 minutes. I did the 22 fairly comfortably and carried on purposefully to see how far I could go, I managed 25 minutes and then decided to stop because the only way on was uphill. But it took me right home! so I had to walk round the block a little to make sure I did my 'cool down walk'. So if I can keep it up then this means that I am nearly at a full circuit! I'm not quite sure how far that is, but I have decided to drive around my circuit and clock the miles as I still don't know how to use that stupid pedometer??

Grace is doing fine and still has a bit of a fruity cough but K is coming out on Monday to do her port flush so I can ask her what to do then, it will probably be to start on augmentin again. She has been able to cope with school much better this week, i'm sure she just needed to get back into the routine, and her tummy is doing ok again presently, even though she now has second sittings at school for dinners, which means that she has lunch at 12.20 but she has to be given her creon at 12.00 before the EA leaves for the day, presently it doesn't seem to be causing any problems. Hope it stays that way.

I have also realised that I have been running for 5 months today! ........

A restful weekend

2006-09-18T10:36:00.000+01:00

I had a bit of a rest this weekend, I should have ran yesterday, but I was so tired, and the fact that everyone was at home,so we just sat in bed on Sunday morning and red the papers and drank cups of tea! Whilst Grace and Ad performed Swan Lake in the bedroom in pyjamas.

We then had a day out at Hatton Country World where the children just ran riot and let off some steam, they have been so well behaved this weekend and didn't fight once? the only thing I can put it down to is the fact that they are back in school and haven't yet found the energy they need to muster up for a 'punch up'. After that we had Sunday late lunch and then went to 'Nannas' at tea time for a visit, so generally I never had the chance to run yesterday.

Today I ran after taking Grace to school at around 9.30. I did only 20 minutes as a straight run. I set my timer for 22 minutes but I was quite happy to stop as it was very hot, and I was very pleased with myself as I haven't managed more than about 15-16 minutes at that heat as a straight run. Finally I did a 2 minute run up the hill and home so atleast I had done my quoter.

Grace was late going to bed last night because she has been complaining of tummy ache, I gave her a tummy massage and some extra lactulose as she felt a bit 'lumpy' in the tummy (as Grace calls it) she said her tummy felt like a football, and it hurt her a little this morning on the way to school. Hopefully she will have a clear out today? I've told the teachers I am not far away if they need me to collect her, but fingers crossed she will be ok.

Moving on with my targets

2006-09-15T12:54:00.000+01:00

As I have been doing 20 minutes each run, or thereabouts, so I have decided to move on with my targets. It did say in the print out I downloaded from a runners forum that I should stick at around 20 minutes for 2 weeks, so I guess I am about there now.

I managed to keep going for a while after the alarm went off on Wednesday, so I set my alarm for 22 minutes today, I sometimes feel at different parts of my run that I can't go on, but if I just take the pace down a little and keep going, more than anything I set myself mini targets and think to myself 'well if I can just get to the end of this road that will do' and then when I get there I round the corner and set myself another target. Today was much like that, and psychologically, the extra 2 minutes was making me think that I wasn't going to make it, but I did it, I was approaching the dreaded hill, and the decision to run off in a different direction where it remained flat or to run up the hill was difficult. I opted for the hill, because after all, I do need hill practise. I got less than half way up and had to stop wishing that I had opted for the flat route as I would have been able to go on a little more, but just as I stopped and reached to my pocket for my alarm, it went off!!?

Yay! because I got to 22 minutes, but boo because I have to keep it up now. I will continue with it the rest of this week, and if I'm finding it tough I will do it for 2 weeks before I move on to 25 minutes. The thing is now I can set my own targets because I no longer have a deadline.

I knew that I wasn't going to get up and run early this morning, I've had a few sleepless nights, I have no idea why, but I can not stay asleep all night lately. I wake 2-3 times a night! So I went for my run after taking Grace to school which is also a good thing, because I sometimes find I can't do the distances later in the day.

Grace is settling nicely back into school now, she is coping better towards the end of this week, and is not so exhausted when she gets home. We have not heard anything regarding the Dnase presently, but i'm sure we will be contacted via a letter as soon as Dr Wellers Secretary has contacted Dr Simmonds. The physio at Birmingham suggested that Grace take a few deep breaths whilst we were doing percussion (normally she does the deep breaths whilst I am doing the body shakes) so now we are trying both, and strangely, though she appeared to be very dry this week, including when Dr Weller asked her to cough, we have done some great coughs and produced quite a bit of sputum? Its amazing what a slight adjustment can make. Grace also decided to take physio into her own hands yesterday and did some very large blows through a straw, the physio advised her that it was very good for her............... shame that when she decided to practise it she was wearing a white t'shirt and there was ribena at the other end of the straw though!

Busy day today

2006-09-13T21:58:00.000+01:00

I was up and out for 6.40am today! I thought if I didn't run at that time, then it would definitely get overlooked today. As you can tell from the time of posting, I have had a hectic day.

My run was as I had planned, a straight 20 minutes, infact I may have done almost 22 minutes, because I kept running and tried to get to another target I had my eyes set on after the alarm had gone off.

When I arrived home, I did my stretches had a shower and got straight on with Graces physio as she needed to be ready early so that we could leave for Birmingham.

We arrived at 10.00 and did a bit of shopping and went to Starbucks (Livvys favourite place) and then did some more shopping. We had lunch and then walked to the Birmingham Childrens hospital. On arrival Grace was weighed and her height taken. She had gained weight and height, but her sats wouldn't budge past 91,not even with deep breathing, coughing or huffing.

We saw Dr Weller shortly after, he was generally pleased at how dry her cough was, but he wasn't overly pleased when he listened to her chest, and sent her off to xray. He commented that all of the medications she was on and still she had two courses of IV's since January. With that in mind he decided to keep the steroids and all of her other meds the same, but he has now added in Dnase. I am glad that they are trying different things, but worry that she is now going to be on all that she can be presently, so if things get worse again then where do we go from there? He wants to see her again in 6 months time, so the steroidal nutty child will reign for atleast another 6 months! argggggh!

We sometimes feel a little guilty about using the disabled badge when parking, but today proved a little too much for Grace and we had to take turns at carrying her back to the car. She fell asleep immediately and when we got home she had her tea on a tray on the sofa because she got really teary at the prospect of walking to the dining table, poor girlie! After something to eat and a bit of a rest and opening all the things she had bought from the Disney shop and Ernie lernie (Early Learning Centre) she seemed to have recovered.... but I will probably struggle to get her up tomorrow morning for school? Thank goodness its a low impact day!

Not a good day

2006-09-11T10:28:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I didn't run. Firstly, I didn't go to bed til 2.00am, I stayed up late watching films and pigging out on popcorn and cookie dough icecream, so I just couldn't manage to do an early morning run. After that it got really hot and I thought I would do it late in the evening when it had cooled down again. But by then I had been gardening and worn myself out trying to hack down the triffids that have grown over from next doors garden! this in turn led me to drink a very nice bottle of portugese rose and so the day spiralled.

So after taking Grace to school this morning, even though its very hot, but decided events may take a similar turn to yesterday if I didn't get on with it. I set off at 9.30. I can not keep to my targets when it is hot, I'm hoping that when I am an established runner that 20 minutes in over 20 degrees heat will be a piece of cake? but for now, i just break it down, which means I still did the 20 minutes but today it was 13-3-2-2 with 1 minute walks in between. The most amazing thing about todays run was the fact that I have a new sports bra! Yes I actually found one in a 36DD! and although I looked like a lycra bag of spuds, they didn't budge once, no bouncing or pain just a nice run.

Grace is due to see Dr Weller at Birmingham Childrens Hospital on Wednesday, last time we saw him in March he put Grace on long term steroids as she had gone from one medication to the next and hardly used her prophylactic med, she definitely has had more use out of it this time, but we have still had a few changes and infact since we have changed to the Ineb her cough has been the worst I have ever known it, but things are starting to improve so I am hoping that the Ineb had dug up stuff deep in her lungs that had previously not been reached? Cough is much dryer but still there at certain times of the day, I can do a physio session in the morning with her and she is really dry, but by teatime she can be really productive? Hopefully Dr Weller will take these things into consideration. However, he did say, when attending one of Graces clinics in Coventry, that he felt he would only lessen the dose at the next BCH clinic and not stop it all together.

So fingers crossed for good things on my next post.....

Impressed myself today

2006-09-08T09:53:00.000+01:00

Got up this morning at 6.30, infact I was already awake, I knew that I would struggle to fit in a run this morning, I have to take my Mum shopping on Friday mornings so there would be no chance of running after taking Grace to school. So I planned to go out around 6.30 so that I could be back in time to physio at the usual time of around 7.15-7.20.

I got dressed and did only a 5 minute warm up walk, and went straight off on my usual route. I didn't sleep too well and I think its because my last run was very below standard, I think it plays on my mind until I have reached a target that I have set myself maybe?

Anyway, I did the 20 minutes without problems and was able to head home at a walking pace at just 9 minutes past 7.00, I even broke into a run on the hill for some 'hill practise'.

When I arrived home I did some stretches and went inside to find that Mark was just finishing Graces physio! So we had a relaxing very non rushed morning without any hair tugging trying to get knots out in a hurry! it was lovely, maybe I will do it again?

Now to tackle shopping with Mother................

Just a few more pictures from the Hydro, and I have already received my official pictures on line, so I will put them up when I receive them through the post.

New Target

2006-09-06T10:30:00.000+01:00

I have given it a rest for a couple of days just so that I could recover from the extra hard push on Sunday. I still can't stop thinking about it even though it just went so fast and its now just a memory. I met so many wonderful people and can't wait to see them again.

Decided to start on a new target, running for 30 minutes comfortably (that means that I didn't feel like I did at the end of the run on Sunday) I looked down at my feet a couple of times because I thought the concrete had stuck to my feet and lower legs, sort of like I had gathered it up as I was going round the course.

Started today with 20 minutes, its advised to do this for 2 weeks, until I feel really comfortable with it, and then start adding minutes without breaks in between. So this morning as Grace is back in school I went out at 9.30 and I don't know if it was a combination of not yet being fully recovered from the weekend and it being a hotter part of the day than I am used to, but I manage 11 mins 4 mins 3mins 2mins 2mins with 1 minute walks in between? I am not worried because I have done my quoter of exercise that I am used to, but I just couldn' do it all in one go today? I may run early on Friday to see if it makes a difference.

Emmie has posted on the forum today about a little girl called Lucy that needed a heart transplant. As Emmie and Emily are at the forefront of the Live Life then give life campaign, they had the opportunity to meet her. She will be on the Sharon Osbourne show today at 5.00pm so I know I will be watching.

I wrote to Sharon Osbourne a while ago, because I wanted to do an Xfactor style auditon, just the audition as I know I wouldn't be able to continue with it if I did get through as being the main carer to a lpwcf it would be impossible. But I thought if I could add to the sponsor monies for Emilys Angels a bit like when Katie ran round her local park singing to raise more money, then I would. But unfortunately I never heard from them as I expect they are so busy and get so many requests that they can't take them all on board........ might have even done it in my tutu!! ....... well you'll never know now!

My Gracie Lou has gone back to school now, its her second day today, she was really looking forward to it. When she came in yesterday though, she had to have a lie down for a while, she was exhausted, I suppose it takes a while to get back into the swing of things. I have put her back on septrin now, and her cough, although still there, has improved. We are seeing Dr Weller a week today so hopefully he will have a plan of action.

I will post a few more pictures today from the HAWC as I took so many and I was worried I might crash the computer if I put them all on in one go! One of my favourite pictures of the day is little Tasha, she was so lovely and smiley even though she was struggling all weekend. But I have been reliably informed that she is on the mend and resting like she should be.....

THE HYDROACTIVE WOMENS CHALLENGE 2006

2006-09-04T10:49:00.000+01:00

Hi all! back all safe and sound. What a great weekend it has been!

We arrived in London at 2.00pm on Friday and went off to meet Lainey and Katie! It was great to meet them and Lainey is a fantastic character! We (myself Kristie andLivvy) met with Lainey and Katie again in the evening and went to Covent garden where we had more time to relax and chat. On Saturday we shopped til we dropped! and in the evening we went to dinner at Zizi's on the Strand. There I had the opportunity to meet Sarah2, Ally and Roger and ofcourse Bagpuss, Charlie and Abigail who was so well behaved and so beautiful!! Tanika and her Mum Fiona, we met up with Lainey again and her daughters and also Tasha who is so lovely and smiley even though she seemed to be having quite a tough time.

I had two glasses of wine (very good) and went to bed reasonably early, which was a complete waste of time because I never slept at all! I even got up to go to the toilet during the night and got completely washed and dressed as I managed to convince myself that it was morning and when I left the bathroom and checked my watch it was 04.18am!? So I went back to bed and twiddled my thumbs til 7.00am where I went through the washing and dressing procedure again (atleast Livvy didn't have to put up with my snoring)!

When we went to breakfast I struggled to eat some cornflakes and managed a bite of a piece of toast! I was so nervous that I couldn't eat anymore than that! The rest was a blurr until we got to the start line! I remember Kate giving me my wings and saying "your Gillian aren't you?" and I remember being overwhelmed that she knew who I was?!

At the start line we had to wait for some time before we were able to start, but the commentary for further down the line in the faster zones could be heard. I was totally surrounded by a sea of different charities and I was standing there reading them all. I can remember that I kept bursting into tears because I was so overwhelmed at this stage. Then a large horn honked and we were able to get moving. It took a few minutes to get upto a jog, but as everyone got going there was more space and I was off!

I remember I wasn't breathless but my mouth was dry and I had to keep drinking every few minutes. I didn't set my timer as it was too difficult at that time so I just tried to plan it round distances, I remember passing 2k but then I didn't see anymore of the markers. I just kept going as long as I could and keep running, I knew I wouldn't be able to do it all as I have never ran longer than 20 minutes, but I seemed to just go on and on! at one stage I ran past Jo Brand and I shouted yay! hi Jo! and she waved her arms in the air. I could hear people shouting come on the Angels! but I couldn't see who was shouting support!

I rounded a corner and I could see quite a steep incline and remember thinking if I don't have a walk now I won't be able to do the hill. I slowed down and walked for a few minutes and was planning to walk up the hill, a little way up a lady walking along side of me said you are doing great, I was trying to read what charity she was supporting but the writing was small and I couldn't see it, but her t'shirt was black? and we heard an official shout come on girls only 1 and a half k to the finish, the lady in the black t'shirt said come lets run the final bit! we'll do it together so we stepped up the pace again and ran side by side ( I don't know who she was, but she probably doesn't realise how much she helped me, and I would love to thank her, but didn't see her again after the finish line) I kept running and thinking I can't make it, I rounded a corner and thought I really need to walk now! but as I looked up I saw a big sign saying FINISH! I kept running and running and finally stepped over that line, I heard someone say wave your hands in the air and smile! and thats exactly what I did...............

I met up with all of the Angels after the race and we had a lovely picnic together! it was so nice to actually see the people I have spoken to for some time and I was a little overwhelmed and probably spent the day just smiling at everyone and not saying much! I have so many memories to keep and it was a very special time that is making me teary just writing it now. It was totally amazing to meet Emily and everyone of the Angels! They are all totally insparational people and I loved them all!

The picnic was a chance to see everyone and I just enjoyed watching Suzie and Lainey together and Andy in his Angel outfit, Tj and her Mum together me and Livvy being snap happy photographing everyone, Emmie and Daisy, little Tasha and Shadow and one of the most memorable things for me was Emily with her slight frame tucking into a burger that was nearly as big as her!

Well worth it and I would do it all over again, just say the word

Last Post (before the event)

2006-09-01T10:15:00.000+01:00

On our way to London shortly! I have been up this morning and ran for 20 minutes, I actually shocked myself! My case is packed and we are leaving at 11.00, (well it is apart from I'm waiting for my trainers to dry off a bit).

Livvy has already text to say she is on her way and we will meet her at Leicester.

This is it now, no turning back!! I am very nervous, my legs will probably be like concrete on the run, but I can't wait now.

I'll post first thing Monday when I return to let you know how I did...................

Euphoria!

2006-08-30T08:15:00.000+01:00

Thinking back to the beginning of this blog when I had just begun training, I can't believe how far I have come and how relatively short a time it has taken me to get fit really. I would recommend it to anyone, you feel like you just don't want to do it first thing in the morning, but once you have started something just pushes you on to find out if you can get just that little bit further?

It has been a great journey for me, I have learned that I can actually do something that keeps me fit and healthy and I am quite good at it. I actually enjoy doing it now, as it said in all the training manuals,forums etc. I used to think I would never enjoy it, but when I return in the mornings I feel such a sense of achievement everytime, even if I don't complete my targets, its just the fact that I am actually doing something for myself that contributes to my health, helps me to look good, sets an example to Grace, for whom exercise is critical and doing something worthwhile to raise awareness and money to help the Cystic Fibrosis Trust, the very reason I began.

The reason for the reflection this morning is because, after months of very hard work, something I am very proud of myself for, I actually reached my target that I set out to achieve today............. I ran for a full 20 minutes non stop, infact I was a little disappointed when the alarm went off because I had to stop, well I could have carried on, but I was so excited that my breathing pattern went right out of the window and I was all over the place!!

This last two weeks I have worked harder than the whole 3-4 months, but I have been able to concentrate on my distances because all of the hard training paid off, plus probably a pep-email from my niece reminding me of the adrenalin rush I will get on the day and that she has every faith in me..... nice to have people behind you willing you on.

So off to London on Friday, very excited and very nervous, and I will miss Grace so much..... I could quite easily not go just to stay at home with her all weekend and watch dvd's, but she reminds me of the reason I am doing this every single day.

So feel free to post comments, I will welcome them all, and I'm ready to go to London and fly the flag for CF with the wind at my heels...........

Final week count down

2006-08-27T11:59:00.000+01:00

Today is the first day of the countdown week. I have to run at 11.00 all week to get used to running at the time of the race, and to make sure I can cope after eating etc. I normally run first thing on an empty stomach, so I thought it might help me to be fuelled. (Sorry if thats spelt wrong? it looks really odd written down?)

Started off with a 10 minute warm up walk and then went straight for the 20 minutes as I have been doing all week. I had muesli this morning for breakfast as thats all I ever have, and I didn't get a stitch or feel sick, I normally feel sick if I think I've pushed a little further in training when I haven't eaten. So that was a positive. However, I did only 16 minutes and 15 seconds, but it was very hot and I have been used to running at a cooler time of day. So overall I was quite pleased and it may have had something to do with the fact that I was up til 2.00am this morning watching the Leeds and Reading Festivals on tv, thouroughly addictive.

I am going to start drinking the Hydroactive drinks this week also as recommended in the magazine that came with my running number as they suggest that it makes a much bigger difference than water alone! I will probably find that quite difficult because I can't stand soft drinks! I only ever drink water and occaisionally a fruit juice mainly prune or apple. I suppose if the worst comes to the worst I could stick a double vodka in it!! Just joking!! But I will report the difference if I notice it.

Graces cough has improved the tiniest bit in the fact that it is less frequent but still very moist. She is due to finish the augmentin today, so I will have to ring the nurse to suggest which medicine next as I just don't know at this stage.

Well have to go get my child out of the shower now before she washes away down the plug hole!!

Almost there

2006-08-25T09:01:00.000+01:00

I didn't run yesterday, Mark has been decorating Fayes bedroom whilst she is on holiday and the gloss seems to have affected me quite badly? I used to have lots of problems with paint or creasote (not sure how its spelt?) when I was younger, I've learned to avoid the latter like the plague, but paint has developed so much over the years that there are barely any fumes these days. Anyway, I didn't realise that I had bought the paint thats pink when its wet and then drys white? Maybe its because I had picked that one up and it wasn't odourless? or maybe its because I have been working really hard on my targets this week and really pushing? I don't know, but my chest has been so tight and all i've done is cough? So I gave myself a days rest and thought I would go out this morning....

I decided to just go for it this morning, did a 10 minute warm up walk and then went straight into 20 minutes! I thought it was going to be really tough on account of the tight chest, but it was the same as normal and I managed a massive 18 minutes and 51 seconds! I know I am nearly there! just a few more runs and I will definitely do it! I can't believe i've got this far.

Something really funny happened this morning and I couldn't do my after run stretches for laughing, I also do them outside on the deck if its dry because I get to sweaty if I do them indoors straight after running. So quite a few neighbours were milling around getting their cars out of the garage etc, and because I am high up the hill in our road then most people can see me, so I must have looked really funny laughing away to myself. Anyway I take my trainers off to do my sit down stretches as they are normally covered in grass and I get it all over me. So I stretched my arms up into the air and then leaned my chest forward over my outstretched leg and as I lowered myself down over my leg towards my foot I noticed that my feet were Steaming!!! Yes there actually was steam coming off my socks! Haha! Speedy gonzales eat your heart out!!

Gracie Lou still continues to cough but generally she is well if a little pale, but her sats were good and her chest sounded ok (nurses words) so she is being visited again after the weekend when she will have finished the course of augmentin and then a decision will be made depending on the state of her cough as to whether we go on cipro or not.

This week I have to run at 11.00 because I have to prepare myself for the time of day the race is being run and I will have to have breakfast to see how I run after I have eaten, I normally run on an empty stomach so that should be interesting?

The best day yet

2006-08-22T09:50:00.000+01:00

Got up at around 6.55 this morning. The alarm went off at 6.00 but I just couldn't be bothered to get up! I knew I had done well on Sunday morning, so I thought that it would be back to the usual - where I couldn't reach the target I had run previously?

Did my 10 minute warm up walk, well actually it was 8 minutes because I got bored! and then a 2 minute warm up run! I set the timer to go off in 20 minutes again even though I only had to do 16 because I felt better if I wasn't checking all of the time.

Part of my 20 minutes takes me over grass and I have noticed how much easier it is on my feet. Maybe thats why my distances are better presently? Anyway when I have finished on the grass area I have to run up quite a long avenue and I know that its just about 16 minutes when I get to the end of it. So today I set my target to turn the corner into the last road which takes me back home. It was a push but I kept going and turned the corner, and decided to keep going as long as I could. I didn't do much further, I think its psychologial more than anything? I just thought I had done more than normal so my legs decided they had had enough.

Anyway, upon checking my timer, I discovered that I had run for 17 minutes and 21 seconds!!! Aha oh yeah,aha oh yeah!!! (dancing in a circle in the street) When I actually pulled myself together, I did my 2 minute final run and then I walked the rest of the way home to cool down before doing my stretches.

I am going to phone the nurse today, as they haven't contacted me its obvious that Grace hasn't grown anything on her cough swab, but continues to be more productive than I have ever known? Not good when she is due to see Dr Weller at BCH on 13 September and he was going to revise her steroid intake, can't imagine he will change it now. Still she is pretty well in herself and keeping fit so hopefully it drys up before then.

What a day!

2006-08-20T17:51:00.000+01:00

Went out for my run this morning and took the same route as Friday, I managed 15 minutes and 27 seconds today, I'm still pleased as it was over 15 mins of straight running, but time is running out and I wish I could manage to get to 20 minutes and complete my training target before we go to London which is 2 weeks today, well we go on Friday 1st September but the run is 2 weeks today! I am really looking forward to it now!

When I returned from my run I logged on to the computer to do my blog and had a routine check of the CF forum to see whats been going on? and my friend Suzies son Chris had had his call for transplant!! He went to surgery at 3.00am and was in ITU by 12 midday, he is doing really well and they may consider waking him up tomorrow providing he continues in this manner!! That great news made me forget to do my blog until now, so I have every good reason!!

Channel 4 were also there to film the procedure, so it will probably be televised in the near future!

Just wanted to send my love to Chris and his family who have been so brave through all of this,and my thanks and respect to the family that donated the organs, a tough thing to do but a great thing to do!! On Marjoleins blog earlier this week, her sister posted a picture of a sign that was at the hospital where she is recovering - it said - don't take your organs to heaven........ heaven knows we need them here!

If you do one thing today, make it the day you become an organ donor. Atleast 50% of people awaiting transplant lose their battle whilst still on the waiting list.

Click on the Livelifethengivelife link to the right of this page.

A voice from above?

2006-08-18T09:09:00.000+01:00

Well I didn't run yesterday because I had a whole other trauma going on (but thats another story) anyway I didn't want to go out running when I was concentrating fully, so I ran this morning instead.

I got up and felt very disheartened as I haven't been able to keep my targets up this week, and also it was pouring with rain. But I was positive and it also gave me a chance to try out my winter kit!

I was complaining on my last post that I just couldn't reach my targets, and then I received an email from the HAWC and the first piece in it said how to cope if you are struggling to achieve your targets?? I was advised to hydrate myself more and to use an Ipod or something as music is proven to improve your heart rate and the feel good factor helps with stamina and adrenalin, in turn, helping you to run better and faster.

So I drank lots of water yesterday and also drank a lot of water on my warm up walk this morning and off I went armed with the Ipod and a bit of 'Black holes and revelations'.

The warm up 2 minute run was fine and then I set my timer for 20 minutes, I though I would just keep going and not worry about the timer going off, and then just check my time out when I stopped, when I decided it was time for me to stop I had done......... 15minutes and 52 seconds! 8 seconds off my target!! I'm sure you can imagine that I am WELL CHUFFED!!!

I didn't go for speed, I paced myself pretty slowly mainly to see how much I could do and it seems to have worked. So maybe someone was listening to me after all?

Grace has gained her appetite back again in the last two days, and is now eating for England, but her cough is the worst I ever known? Its such a wet cough that I'm sure they will change her meds very soon, we are just awaiting results of the cough swab and sputum sample to come back. I will be very surprised if she hasn't grown anything.

And as promised if I reached my target I would post pictures of me in full kit just as soon as it is dry as it was raining very heavily. Although technically I was 8 seconds short of the target, but very pleased never the less.

The postman delivered a parcel today and said that he would sponsor me because he saw me in the telegraph, and I have also had a telephone call from the Coventry Citizen (local free paper) they are coming to photgraph Grace, Kristi and I this afternoon, Woohoo!

Am I going to reach my target?

2006-08-15T10:33:00.000+01:00

Well got up this morning very positive and ready for 2-16-2. I did my 10 minute walk and then 2 minute warm up run. I set off on my 16 minute run and sort of changed my route, I normally double back on myself but because I had quite a distance to cover to day I just carried on running. I had been running for some time and I thought I had done really well, so when my legs became unbearably achey, I decided to stop, to my dismay I had done only 12 minutes!? I think because I had taken a new route, it was a little deceiving and I felt like I had done atleast 15 minutes? anyway I walked for about 20 seconds and then did another 2 minutes, which I struggled with, and finally my two minute cool down run. So I was extremely miffed!! but on Thursday I will be able to gauge it better because I have an idea where I should be up to for the time scale? If you get what I mean?

Grace had her port flushed this morning, and I told the nurse that she had been quite productive, so she has taken a sputum sample and a cough swab and left instructions for Kate the adult CF nurse to chase it up as Kaye will be away from the weekend onwards. She did say that lots of children had been growing the same bug ( it began with H but I forgot what it is) and it has been resistant to augmentin, which is what I have put her on, so I will have to continue on it until we get the results of the swab and sputum sample back. She also advised that I get Graces name on the priority list at the Dr's now for her flu jab as there is already a shortage of flu vaccine.

I have received my running number and my tutu and now I have a pink t'shirt to run in, so maybe I should post a picture of myself in full kit? If I complete my target on Thursday then a picture will be posted, I can't seem to muster up the enthusiasm today as I am stuck in this grey area of 12-14 minutes!!!! as you can tell its making me very cross, just wish I could push on past it.

Back on Target

2006-08-13T07:56:00.000+01:00

Back on target this morning, as I suggested on Friday, if I change my route and try and avoid the hills I manage to keep going. Some parts of the route it is impossible to avoid a slight incline and at those stages my breathing gets pretty heavy! but I managed to push on through today and did 3-14-3. The only thing is my next run out will be 2-16-2!

When I returned from my run this morning Grace was on her way downstairs looking for me, she was complaining of pains in her tummy again last night (its been the case for the whole week) and this morning her legs were hurting and she is cold. Her appetite has been rubbish all week. After she had the high temperature episode last week I put her on augmentin. She has since developed quite a bad cough and coughing quite a lot (which is unusual for Grace she can sound like she has swallowed a 100 frogs and still not cough?) oh and she does sound like she's swallowed the frogs. I don't know if this has anything to do with the new Ineb or whether its just bad timing that she has picked something up at the same time as starting it? She is very productive so we have got a nice sample to send off to the lab to see if she has grown anything.

Hopefully we can have a nice relaxing day today and not have to venture out of the house, I think that Grace is looking forward to lying around all day watching Spongebob? and hopefully she starts to feel a bit better?

I also chatted briefly to Emily last night, she is now back out of the High Dependancy unit! Lets hope it stays that way, wishing you a speedy recovery Em xx

Rubbish today?

2006-08-11T16:51:00.000+01:00

The title speaks for itself, I don't know what was going on today, but my 14 minute run turned out to be 9 minutes and 43 seconds?? I just couldn't do anymore today and I don't know why? Hopefully things will get back to normal on Sunday, I may even run tomorrow to try and catch back up, who knows? I am very cross with myself, I know the route is a little hilly, but its the route I have been doing for the past two weeks and I have managed 14 minutes on this route! I feel like things are just going backwards.

On a positive note the Coventry Evening Telegraph came to take my picture and do an interview about the HAWC, even though Gemma sent out a draft to them with a photograph? The good thing about it was that my official number had just arrived in the post and I was able to be photographed with it, well Grace was holding it and kissing me on the cheek. When I opened the envelope and saw the number and all of those proffesional looking women running on the front of the magazine.... I had a major panic! especially as I am doing rubbish this week, I am supposed to be up to 20 minutes in the next two weeks and its just going terrible! The worst thing is because I feel like i've failed today I just want to go right back out now and try again!! I am really hoping I can push on past this hurdle this week!

Emily is still in HDU but has had her drain removed, so fingers crossed she will be back out again soon. Also Marjolein from the CF forum has had a transplant in the last 48 hours, her sister has updated regularly and we have learned that she is already off the ventolator. Go Marjolein!!

Emilys naughty lungs!

2006-08-09T10:34:00.000+01:00

I've been out for my run this morning, I managed 3-12-3, strange but before I even left the house I had a feeling I wouldn't manage it today? I had to stop because I just couldn't go on, and when I checked my timer I had exactly 2 minutes left to run, but I couldn't keep going, I walked for 1 minute and then I did my last 3 minutes and I really pushed myself to the limit and virtually sprinted it! I didn't gain anything from doing that, but it made me feel better. I suppose it had something to do with the fact that the start of the 14 minutes was at the bottom of the dreaded big hill! so it was hard work.

I learned upon my return that Emily has still been having problems and has had another pneumothorax which they are struggling to re-inflate so she has been transferred back to HDU to have some 'stuff' done to help her which is quite unpleasant. So I am sending hugs and love and inflatery thoughts. I know she won't be able to read this presently because she has no access to her laptop in HDU, but heres hoping you can get back to it really quickly lovely Em!!!

If you do one thing today, make it a worthwhile thing and become an organ donor.

htttp://www.livelifethengivelife.co.uk - click on the link at the right of this page or telephone them on 0845 6060 400

I have read a really nice thread today on the forum about the Starlight Foundation and The Beckhams, so I just wanted to add a photo of me in my running kit! It was an anniversary present from my husband...... who says romance is dead??

Slept in?

2006-08-07T10:02:00.000+01:00

Set my alarm for 6.30 and Grace woke me up at 7.36?! she asked me if she could play in the loft and I told her it was far to early as my alarm hadn't gone off yet, at the point Mark told me that he had reached across me and switched it off at 6.30 because I never even heard it!

I left the house at about 7.45 and wasn't really in the mood for a run, especially as I was doing 3-14-3 this morning. I didn't think I would manage it. The first 3 mins was fine but I was thirsty as I didn't have time for much water before I left this morning. The 14 minutes, I set off at a very low impact pace and kept to that most of the first 8 minutes as a lot of the run is up hill, I know it says to avoid hills when you are a beginner, but not where I live, its virtually impossible not to find a hill. Anyway, it was tough going but once I got back on the flat I just seemed to find it!! and I completed the 14 minutes (applause). As I only walk for 1 minute between runs now, I probably wasn't ready for the last 3 minutes as it was right back up a hill, but I finished it......just.

So to summarise, I am generally pleased with myself as I seemed to have been on a bit of a plateux (don't know how to spell that and its not in my dictionary so apologies in advance) but hopefully I am moving on! Yay! (an Emily word) who incidently is much improved but still in hospital and still has a chest drain in, and her only concerns seems to be that she won't be able to wear her pink princess dress on the Sept 3rd with a chest drain in!

We (Mark, Grace and I) went shopping at Solihull yesterday and we bought Emily a present, I'm not going to say what it is incase she is reading, but its sooooo cute!!! I also bought a Derek and Clive dvd which I stayed up really late to watch last night and thats probably why I slept in. Now to tackle some house work........

Slight blip!

2006-08-05T13:46:00.000+01:00

Didn't run yesterday, although not for lack of trying. I normally run between 6-7 in the mornings, but Grace had been up all night with a temperature and poorly tummy so at 6 when I was due to get up, I had only just gone to sleep. I planned to do it later in the day, but with no one else around for most of it and Grace feeling really unwell all day- I just gave up and did it this morning instead.

No problems and nothing to report - I did 4-12-4 and have decided to step up to 3-14-3 on Monday. I think if anything missing out a couple of mornings this week have benefitted me more than anything? my legs feel much better now and I'm sure its just due to the resting.

Grace is also feeling much better today and has been back to ballet and tap class this morning, but still not eating too well, couldn't even finish a mcdonalds! now that is poorly!

I have ordered a t'shirt today, that Livvy has had designed for Emilys Angels, they are pink with silver writing on and they are very impressive, i've also ordered my tutu now, so I will put up a picture of myself in full kit when they all arrive.......shame my trainers are blue really!

Running again!

2006-08-02T10:22:00.000+01:00

Back to normal again, I ran this morning and I also ran Monday morning, Monday was difficult, firstly I was a little worried about my legs as they were still painful, but I decided it wasn't a running injury. I have been to the doctors and they are happy for me to run and thought that I had a viral infection (probably from the manky pool?) and also the air is definitely nowhere near as clean as the air in spain! I have coughed both times after running, and I haven't done that since the first couple of weeks I started running? I noticed straight away on the first day I ran in spain that my breathing was much more controlled, so I have had to get used to being back in our own climate. I didn't quite meet my target on Monday, I did 4-12-4 but only managed 4-10-4, however today I completed it ok, I think it was mainly because I didn't feel 100% and also I was nervous of the pains in my legs incase I was adding to an injury.

I have booked the hotel for London in September, we are staying at the Darlington Hyde Park, it sounds very nice. I looked for something a little nearer to where we needed to be and asked Livvy if she was happy with the choice? before I had made the reservation she had already phoned the hotel and asked for a discount! Its good having such persuasive friends, it saved us £50 and we got an English breakfast thrown in! What a star she is.

My legs are feeling much better now, and the episodes are getting shorter so hopefully I will be back to normal by the end of the week. Thank goodness Grace has remained well, she has started her Ineb yesterday and doing very well, I am so impressed with the speed at which it can be administered, the whole procedure from preparing the meds to washing it up afterwards takes about 10 minutes?! Amazing!

Back to normal

2006-07-30T10:34:00.000+01:00

Hello! Well I am almost back to normal, I was due to run this morning but so far haven't been out because I have awful pains in my legs? I have phoned NHS Direct and I am waiting for them to phone me back.

Whilst on my holiday I kept my training up every other day as I have been at home. Most of the time the targets were easy to stick to, so I have been doing 4-12-4 all of this week (which I previously couldn't do at home) but the last two sessions were tough because it was very humid even at six in the morning.

It has been an eventful holiday and even poor Adam ended up in hospital on IV's! he had such a severe ear infection and they had to get it under control quickly so that he was able to fly home. He flew home without problem and was well for the remainder of the holiday, but its difficult to tell a 10 year old 'ok so you can't go in the pool for the rest of the trip'. Most of the families we spoke to at the appartments had atleast one child on antibiotics for an ear infection whilst they were there which indicates the pool cleanliness wasn't as it should be, so I have asked that Grace can have a cough swab done to put my mind at rest that she hasn't grown anything? She had a great time and coped really well with the heat, she had 40ml of salt daily and we kept on top of all of her other treatments including prune juice. The only thing she didn't seem to cope with was lack of tv.

So hopefully I will be back to normal and running again either this evening or tomorrow morning? I just need to sort out this strange leg pain (baffling?) and I will also post photos of our hols as soon as I can find my USB thingy ?

Hola buenas noches from Sunny Spain

2006-07-20T21:19:00.000+01:00

Hello Just a quick update, I have been keeping up with my training since arriving here last Saturday. I have managed to do 2-3-10-3 this morning, I will also do it again on Saturday. I have learned this afternoon that Emily has been taken quite poorly, and I wanted to send her my wishes and tell her to keep her spirits up and fight back. I know what a determined miss you are, but also know you have been having a tough time recently. Get well soon Em, all my love.

I have found it a lot easier to run here for some unknown reason? One theory is that I am eating more so have the staminer? I am hoping to manage the 4-12-4 so watch this space.

Missing everyone loads and extra hugs and kisses to Emily.

Dissapointed!

2006-07-13T10:21:00.000+01:00

Todays format should have been the new 4-12-4. But I managed 4-10'25-4. I knew when I took Grace to school that judging by the temperature at 8.45 I wouldn't be able to do it. Its hard to run early when Grace is at school because of all her treatments that we have to get in before she leaves for school, so for now I seem to have plateaued at 10 minutes. I am quite happy to leave it at 4-10-4 when we are on holiday, if I can do more I will.

I wasn't happy with my performance today, its annoying me that I can't get past 10 minutes but I have done a longer distance before and after and also if it was an earlier time and cooler, I would probably be able to manage it.

I am looking forward to my holiday and hopefully the heat in Spain is different to that sticky stuff we get here, so I should be able to run better hopefully, anyway I don't care as long as I can get in the practice and do it along the seashore early in the morning.

Grace is appearing in a local paper today, however, we haven't received our copy yet, so I can't post any pictures. I shall be running again tomorrow as I don't think I will find time to fit it in on Saturday, I will make up for it by swimming loads! Don't get too jealous! and then post again tomorrow along with photos.

Revenge of the killer wheelie bins

2006-07-11T10:21:00.000+01:00

As Grace is back in school this week I have been running after 9.00am. This morning it was very hot again and I still had to push on the 10 minutes, its really beginning to annoy me now, that I still don't feel comfortable at 10 minutes. I am due to start 4-12-4 the day after tomorrow. I think I will try it, the weather is due to get hotter aswell so I had better go back to early runs. If I find it a struggle I will got back to 2-3-10-3 until I return from my holiday.

Todays run was difficult because it was wheelie bin day, and the pavements were strewn with wheelie bins, I had to run into the road lots of times to avoid being attacked! It was like an episode from Dr Who!

Grace is well this week, her cough is dry. We are waiting for someone to come out with her new INeb but it looks unlikely that it will be before we go away now, so her nurse will drop off a portaneb for us to take on holiday. She has been counting down everyday until we go, every morning she says " only 4 days today mummy" or however many days we have left. Next job will be to sort out holiday insurance for her, i'm sure it will cost a fortune this year now that she has a vascuport?

The CF Charity ball

2006-07-09T18:31:00.000+01:00

Well sorry this post is so late, but I have only just done my run and I didn't relish it at all!! I had a very late night at the CF Ball to raise money in memory of Claire Dawson.

I got to meet Livvy (long awaited) and we had a good time, it was so nice to meet her and I am looking forward to London now so that we can meet up with everyone else too!

My format is still 2-3-10-3 but sadly the 10 was 8 minutes and 4 seconds today, but being a little dehydrated and feeling generally unwell, I think I didn't do to bad, so I am quite pleased with myself. I am still concerned, however, that I am going to struggle in Menorca, hopefully I can keep up with this weeks format (as I still feel I haven't quite mastered it)that should be enough until I return to this climate.

Grace stayed at her Nannas house last night and although she slept well, she has been very tired today and fell asleep whilst having her nebuliser, something she never does during the day? Hopefully its just the result of a busy weekend?

A real struggle?

2006-07-07T10:29:00.000+01:00

As Grace is back at school I wasn't able to run until 9.30. I thought it would be easier today because a) I had goose bumps on my arms this morning when taking Grace to school, and b) it was the 2nd time I would be doing the 2-3-10-3 format. The 10 minutes was definitely a push and the 3 minutes at the end has to be the worst part! So although I did complete my targets its making me angry that its a real struggle! and the fact that there must be some change in my appearance (definitely less overhang at the wasteband!) but no one seems to have noticed?! I know I won't look superfit over night, but surely after 6 weeks I would start to notice something? and I still weigh the same as my last blog no other weight loss!! so all you ladys on the forum that are feeling guilty whilst reading my blog- it don't make any difference apparently! I'm killing myself everyother morning,forgoing cakes and weigh the same?

A photographer from the Coventry Citizen is coming out at lunch time today, so I will have to borrow Grace from school for a while. She couldn't have any more time off and also today is report day. The roses took a bit of a battering yesterday in the rain, but one seems to be opening out nicely presently. Its a good job I took a picture of my first one that flowered, it really is beautiful, it looks like red velvet.

I'm glad she is back at school because she has been very down and teary for the last few days, and when you ask her why she is crying or if she feels poorly she just says she doesn't know why? I myself think its the after effects of the IV's. She definitely needs a holiday now to perk her up.

A day of Remembrance

2006-07-05T12:43:00.000+01:00

Went running before 7.00 this morning, infact I think I was back for around 10 past? I did my warm up walk, but my warm up run got a bit messed up, as I set the alarm for 2 minutes and it seemed to go off early? It turned out that it was my sleep alarm I had forgot to cancel it and I got up earlier than the time I had set it for. So I had to add an extra minute to my next run. But the big finale!!! I did 10 minutes!!!! ........ and for the first time since I started running, it made me feel sick, but I did have a bit of a dodgy tummy yesterday, so it could have been that I suppose. But I did 10 MINUTES. What a milestone.

Also I would like to report that I have cut out all of the rubbish I eat between meals for the last few days and I have lost 4lb, I can't wait to weigh myself tomorrow to see if I have lost another 2lb? imagine that? 6lb in 3 days? It does help when Mark is working late because he doesn't tempt me with lots of goodies! However, today he has started work later and he will work until 10.00 tonight, so he picked me up some lunch when he was getting his own. I asked for a pack of egg mayo sandwiches and a small salad, ( I have infront of me a salad containing chargrilled chicken, pasta shells, brown rice, cucimber tomatoes and lettuce, sliced potatoes and king prawns) I have put the sanwiches back in the fridge for my tea! I wouldn't mind but he looks like a stick and constantly watches his weight!

So today is a special day of remembrance for 2 reasons, the first being - I have reached my half way milestone in my training, and the other - is one year ago today my very bestest friend Nicholas Dombey passed away, so I thought it was very fitting to be able to remember him here. He was Coventrys greatest 'Punk' and I hope he is happy pogo-ing away somewhere to the Buzzcocks or the Rammones, and he is always in my thoughts R.I.P xx

Grace had her line removed at clinic yesterday, they are still unhappy with her 'production' so they are going to trial her on DNase (something used via a nebuliser or Ineb to dilute or breakdown mucus) and she is to start promixen asap! I have to pick up the prescription today and then someone will come out to give us a run through on how to use it. We also had a phone call from the Coventry Observer today, they are coming out to take Graces picture with the CF growing hope rose, to coincide with its official launch yesterday by Charlie Dimmock. I will post pictures as soon as I have them. Oooh waffled a bit today

Even Hotter!

2006-07-03T09:49:00.000+01:00

It had to be a 7.00am run today. It was so hot, I didn't dare leave it any later. I did the 8 minutes, just, I was stopping to look at the timer thinking " god haven't I done it yet?" when the alarm went off in my hand! this weather really messes up your training. On Wednesday I have to do a full 10 minute run, I hope its a bit cooler, otherwise I may not reach my target.

I have had stiffness in my legs on the days when I am not running so I may need to get back to walking on alternate days maybe? and also my weight keeps going up! okay I am not dieting or anything but you would think that you atleast burned it off and kept it to the same wouldn't you? So I am going to watch my weight now for a couple of weeks. Its the season for salads! trouble is I eat lots of salad, but have choclate icecream after or something like that!

Really looking forward to my holiday now, atleast I can swim lots aswell as my training. I'm sure that will help with the stiffness in my legs. It will certainly help my psoriasis, when I am on holiday the salty water and sunshine combination almost clears up my knees and gives me a break for a couple of weeks, so when I run in my shorts at home, I won't get people looking at my knees instead of my face when I run past them of a morning.

Grace is having her line taken out at clinic tomorrow, she can't wait, she hasn't been able to go in the bath or shower for two weeks, poor thing, she has been so hot the last few days and her salt intake has been massive! I gave her 30ml of oral salt solution yesterday but she has still eaten tons of olives and everything she asks for to eat is salty. Still she is probably fit for her holiday now.

Hot Hot Hot!

2006-07-01T10:39:00.000+01:00

Been out this morning for my run at 7.30, and it was still really hot! I was worried I wouldn't be able to meet my targets but I did, just!

I ran past a girl this morning (I didn't over take her she was coming the other way) and she didn't breathe nowhere near as heavy as I do?? I was trying to be quiet on the way past so I could hear her breathing pattern, I bet she thought I was a right weirdo! I was going up hill aswell, so I nearly keeled over trying to hold my breath.

Next weeks format is 2-3-10-3, hopefully it won't be too hot. The following week we will be going on holiday. My routines for those weeks are 4-12-4 and 3-14-3, I don't know whether to stick to the lower impact until I get back or just carry on upping the formats. If I give it a try I'm sure I'll find out if I can run in that heat (going to Menorca) still whatever format I'm looking forward to running along the beach for a change (bliss)!!!!!

Tried the new trainers

2006-06-29T10:45:00.000+01:00

I went for my run at 7.30 this morning! When I woke up it was so hot, and Grace had to go into school this morning to a little bit of finishing touches to her school report, so I knew if I didn't do it early I would have to run after 10.30, and there was no way on a hot day like this!

Anyway it was not too bad,still struggled a little with the heat but the worst thing was that I wore my new asics for the first time. They are much heavier than the shoe I am used to running in and also I felt the impact on my legs in areas that I am not used to, so I have a whole new load of 'achey legs' already! It did feel much better though, and once I get used to how heavy they are, I should be back upto scratch again. Although saying that I did complete all my targets including the 8 minutes again! The only thing that really bothered me was the last 3 minutes,my legs felt a little heavy, but again I think that was down to the new trainers? I also now have a t'shirt with holes in, that is so much better to run in than plain cotton t'shirts, amazing how a little thing like that makes so much difference!

Only two more times doing the routine with the 8 minute run and the next one is 2-3-10-3 and the walking distance in between each one is 60 seconds! I will be pleased with myself if I can do that!! I have also been asked this morning if I want to join/lead the children in the sport relief run where they will be able to run/walk/jog around the perimeter of the school next week!! Its a challenge!

I did it!!!!

2006-06-27T10:01:00.000+01:00

I had to be kicked out of bed this morning, I was so comfortable, just didn't want to get up, plus I was dreading the new format.

Faye decided she was coming with me this morning, I told her not to push too hard and take her time and not do the distances I was doing, but she said I'll be alright I keep fit at college everday when I'm doing my dance routines!! So she put on her very best cappezio pants and shoes? and came on the 10 minute warm up walk. I then normally run for 2 minutes and then walk again for about 2 minutes just to warm up because my legs are always a little stiff at the start. Well she did the 2 minute warm up and then went home! Ha! she's been taking the mickey out of me for weeks when she see's me red faced running up the hill and she goes past on the bus! Just let her say another word!

My new format for this week is 2-5-8-3, I was very concerned that I wouldn't be able to do the '8' if I could have done it first before the 5 minute run it would have been easier, but it was the other way round for a purpose. I actually did it though!!! when the alarm went off on my pedometer to say I had completed 8 minutes straight!! yes 8 minutes!! I jumped up and down in the street waving my arms in absolute euphoria, not only can I run for 8 minutes but I out run my 18 year old daughter by miles (well not miles but it felt like it).

I went shopping yesterday and got silver shoes and a bag for the ball. I struggled between a gold pair and a silver pair, but as soon as they showed me the silver bag my decision was made! Grace passed her ballet exam with flying colours yesterday! so we also bought her some new earrings, she has never taken her earrings out since she had them pierced but she had to take them out for the exam.

I am so pleased with myself today! now if I could just stop eating long enough to lose a bit of weight too?

Must be starting week 5?

2006-06-25T15:23:00.000+01:00

Today I didn't feel in the least bit like getting out of bed and running, but I had to. So I just got on with it and it was ok, I managed all of my targets even though it was quite hot. I am going to try the new format on Tuesday, but if I can't do it, I shall do this weeks again.

I didn't do anything low impact yesterday because I just didn't have the time. Saturday is a very hectic day. Grace takes her ballet exam tomorrow morning, hopefully then her class time will change and Saturdays will become less stressful? Atleast enough for a nice walk.

I am a bit down in the dumps today, Mark and I had a major argument about 'sterile procedure' when we were doing Graces IV's!! he seems a little more relaxed about the procedure than I do, and I don't think I am being over the top? I just don't want to be the one who is responsible for giving Grace an infection in her port! Then again I do have a form of OCD? and I like order (my order).

Graces CF Growing Hope roses arrived yesterday and we have planted them out in the garden. I will publish some photos as soon as they have flowered, they are already budding!! She might be in the paper soon, hopefully I can keep them flowering and looking as beautiful as they do now before the photographs come?!

God am I looking forward to a holiday!!

Good Feeling Today

2006-06-23T09:46:00.000+01:00

I was awake very early this morning, I was conscious that I had to run and I was worried, because I have hated this weeks format, its been really hard! But today I went out at 7.40 to get it out of the way because I was so bothered about it, and guess what?? it was a piece of cake today, infact when my alarm went off to stop running, I could have carried on. I did quite a low impact jog and didn't run hard until my last time of 3 minutes, but still felt good at the end. I did low impact because I partly wanted to see how much longer I could last and also a bit of pain was emerging in my left shin? but it seems ok now?

I don't know if it is because it was much cooler this morning, or I am getting used to the routine? but it was so much better today and I was really pleased with myself for feeling good at the end.

Whilst I was running this morning the elderly lady at the corner of our street came out and gave me a bottle of water!! how nice was that? and also running that early means there are loads of 'kids' at the bus stop who all go quiet every time I ran past them! but the best thing was that as I walked back to my garden gate, my neighbour came out to talk to me and I could manage a conversation without having breathing difficulties and not sweating all over him, my face was still a little purple, but it was a nicer shade today?

Busy day today!

2006-06-21T16:59:00.000+01:00

Up early this morning, Grace had to have physio and get her amitop on (anaesethic cream) atleast half an hour before her nurse came to access her port at 8.15!! I was nearly dressed when she arrived. It went very well, and very quickly. I went straight out for my run after she had left as we then had to go up to the childrens ward for her first dose of medication and then to pick a two weeks supply up so that we could do the rest at home. It came in two huge cardboard boxes!

My run was 2-5-5-3 format with 90 second runs in between and I started off with a 10 minute walk to warm up. My legs were a little stiff on the two minute run, but by the time I began the five minute they were fine. This time though I found the first five mins tougher than the second. I completed them all today, but it was still tough going? I don't know whether I will be fit to move on to the next target next week or whether I should do this week again until I feel in control?? still I have to do it a further two times before I change, I will make my decision after Sunday. I have started taking a bottle of water with me since the distances have gotten longer, but sometimes I am so out of breath I can't drink it!?

Generally I still feel that I am not fit for this new format, but will persevere, hopefully I am almost at the top of the hill.

Gosh that was hard!!!

2006-06-19T10:53:00.000+01:00

New routine this morning! 2-5-5-3- with 90 seconds between each one, hardly got my breath back before I was running again! I took a bottle of water with me this morning too! but I was so breathless I struggled to drink it! I did the first 5 minutes without too much trouble, and the second 5 was easier than I thought, but my legs gave up with 9 seconds left!!! just 9 seconds!!. I'm sure i'll be able to do it Wednesday?? then the last 3 minutes was a bit of a push but I kept going! I'll probably cope much better with it by the end of the week? she says not convinced, but i'm sticking with it, i've got this far. I have to go for an ECG and a general health check on Friday to make sure i'm fit to be doing this, I probably won't get there because I've fell in a gutter somewhere!.

Graces nurse is back from her annual leave this morning and rang to say that she feels Grace does need to get on her IV's this week as planned because she has had an underlying niggling 'something' for a while now, and she is normally right!! so IV's commence Wednesday as planned, she is coming out to the house to access her port at 8.15 in the morning, so we need to be up early to get the amitop on and do physio before she arrives. Then we have to go up to the hospital for her first dose of meds and a refresher course for us, so it shouldn't be too long at the hospital.

Family day out today

2006-06-18T21:00:00.000+01:00

Today was a low impact day, I did my run yesterday morning and it went well even though it was pretty hot. I did it before 9.00am which helped immensely. It was the 1-2-3-3-2-1 format, the last one this week. Tommorow I will be moving onto 3-5-5-2 with 1.5 minute walks in between! am rather apprehensive about 2 x 5 minutes back to back ? but I will know soon enough, I will be so pleased if I manage it.

I haven't done any training today, not even low impact, I have had a rather full day starting with Graces first ballet exam, well actually the exam is next Monday, but it was the full dress rehearsal today and we (parents) were allowed to watch. Followed by a full days horse racing at Stratford racecourse, I wore a very nice sundress that I bought from H&M, been saving it all week for today because it was supposed to be really the hottest day so far? but I was freezing! but still had a good day.

I have sent a message to Graces nurse in an attempt to put back her IV's but she must be on annual leave til Monday? so I won't know until tomorrow whether she begins them on Wednesday or not? Mark thinks we should just get them out of the way, but I feel if she is doing ok at the moment, then wait until we return from our holiday.

Looking forward to tomorrows running challenge now!

shopping today

2006-06-16T10:20:00.000+01:00

Low impact day today- had a good 20 minute walk. I am off to take my Mum shopping shortly and then I am going to have a look for some running shoes.

My pulled muscle was quite painful last night, but seems to be much better today and feels better again after my walk, so I am glad that I was able to rest it. I think its because I have developed a different technique running up hills, a slight sway seems to make all the difference to how I power myself up the hill, and has caused me to add a 'new muscle' to my training maybe? however, I must find out if it is ok to continue to run up hills in this manner as I may be doing myself untold damage? or whether its widely used?

Anyway very short today as I have lots to do.

Time to buy proper shoes

2006-06-15T10:52:00.000+01:00

I spent sometime last night scouring the 'runners' forum looking for a post about the best running shoes to wear. I have decided that they are the thing that are holding me back. I ran this morning doing my usual routine for this week which is 1-2-3-3-2-1 minute runs with 2 minutes in between of walking. I am starting to get a little worried because I have only one more day of this routine and next week it changes. So from Monday, on alternate days I will be doing 2-5-5-3 minute runs with 1.5 minute runs inbetween, presently the way I feel between the two 3 minute runs I do, is pushed to the limit, so this will be the big test?

I do feel that the shoes will make all the difference, after reading a lot of posts about shoes I have decided that the general concensous is for asics, so I will make time today to get my feet properly checked to see which way they 'roll' this rolling motion is very important, its called 'pronation' and your shoes are determined as to which way your foot naturally rolls once your foot touches down on the floor. It makes all the difference to areas on your ankles knees etc, as to where the impact is when your foot touches down. Very technical stuff for me don't you think? Well my very good friend Livvy sent me a magazine called 'Running fitness' and as I was a little unwell yesterday, it kept me busy in my sickbed. So thankyou Livvy it has been very informative.

I didn't manage the shorts today and I still haven't put the batteries on charge, but will do it for my next run on Saturday. I didn't fancy taking Grace to school in my shorts, and if I had come back home to change, might not have gone back out again?

I am a little concerned that I have pulled a muscle at the top of my outer thigh near my hip! It doesn't bother me when I run, but when I do any stretches or lunges it's quite a sharp pain? May get the Dr to check it over for me.

Bought a lovely black dress from Debenhams yesterday for the CF Ball inJuly, I am really looking forward to it now, a chance to get dressed up, Mark is wearing a tux!! and I will meet Livvy and Nigel in the flesh!

Finally Grace will be going on IV's from Wednesday for two weeks. Dr's were generally pleased with her, but as there was still some production, they felt that a course was due, she hasn't had any since February. They were going to wait til next month but we will be away for two weeks of it. Peresonally I thought she could have got away with it til August.

Exclusive News!!!!!

2006-06-13T10:03:00.000+01:00

Today I did it in me shorts! Yes I did! oooh! It was tough going still because its so warm, but it did feel easier than Sunday, I think its because I am not only stamina building now, but gaining distance, my running time gets longer each week.

Iwas going to take photos, of my little legs in my shorts for proof, but the battery was flat on the camera so I have put it on charge and will take photos again after my run on Thursday. Tomorrow will be just low impact, I normally do a 20 minute walk on a low impact day, but did nothing yesterday so I am hoping for a 40 minute walk and then maybe a swim? If I went for a swim now there would be a hissing sound when I hit the water (my face is scarlet again) I wonder if all runners look like that when they have finished running on a hot day? It looks so unprofessional.

My mentors have both told me they need a kick up the bum so Suzie and Livvy consider yourselves officially kicked! If I got my psoriasis knees out in public, then I want you both on your bikes in shorts today!!!!

Grace has gone for her eye check at the hospital this morning, her appointment was for 9.30 so Mark took her so that I could still get my run in, and then we can go out for lunch before her clinic appointment at 3.00. Fingers crossed no IV's, she isn't coughing much at the moment, although she did cough all last night? which she never coughs at night unless she is really unwell? maybe its the heat? but she is suffering from reflux quite a bit lately? Well I'm presuming its reflux, when she keeps getting a mouthful of whatever she ate or drank last for no apparent reason?

I think that she will get away without IV's if the Dr's are convinced her cough is dry enough which I think it is.....

Still we'll see later

This is for Craig

2006-06-12T09:33:00.000+01:00

Craig Brown - 10 February 1986 - 4 June 2006

Rest in Peace xxxx

Really hard today!

2006-06-11T11:06:00.000+01:00

Didn't run yesterday as it was my low impact day, however, it was so low I was almost lying down. I didn't even do a walk, not because I didn't want to, it was just because I didn't have much time, I kept telling myself that I would do some form of exercise before the day was out, but when I got home at 10.00pm and still had to do Graces physio, nebs and meds aswell! So it went a bit out of the window yesterday!

Today, I got up early and ready to run, but felt very daunted by the fact that I was going out for a run! I started off by doing a warm up walk for 8 minutes then I ran in minutes of 1-2-3-3-2-1, with 2 minute walks in between each one. Sounds like a piece of cake? but in this heat it was tough! That will be my training routine for the rest of this week, then it gets stepped up again next week and so on until I can do 20 mins non stop,....Sure?! Someone commented to me this week that its only a 3 mile run, what do you need to train for?? I felt like saying come and run with me now and see who can do the longest distance!!

I felt better at the end of it, but I still feeling that I am not progressing quick enough! its very frustrating, especially when I feel I am doing well, and then the next time I go out it feels like I can't make it and waiting for my alarm to go off so that I can do the 2 minute walk in between!! Its probably because its getting more intense training now? I don't know, I feel like chucking it all in presently because I seem to be working so hard and feeling worse than ever when I run.

Wind at my heels indeed?! Feels more like chains and concrete!

Hot day!!!

2006-06-09T10:12:00.000+01:00

What a hot day already?! I had a very red face when I got back this morning! I still feel like i'm not enjoying myself though, the wind definitely isn't at my heels yet!

Today I did a 5 minute walk followed by a 5 minute run followed by a two minute walk and a 2 minute run followed by a 5 minute walk, and when I got home I did some stretches on the deck, because I was far too hot to go inside!

Our garden is on a hill and we are pretty high up so I can see right across the golf course whilst stretching, got some funny looks I can tell you!

I am feeling better, but still wish I could notice a big improvement,not really toned or anything as yet, but I do find walking anywhere is not the task it was. Whilst walking up some hills on holiday last year, the children laughed at me so much because I was flagging behind and then just dissapeared in the long grass because I was so exhausted I couldn't do anything to save myself when I fell! I could probably walk the socks off myself this year!

I was cross because I had planned to go to pilates with a friend last night, but at the last minute Faye reminded me she had to go to work and Mark was already at work so I had to stay home. It seems that even though I have given up work, I still can't do anything for myself! I will have to try and find a daytime class but even then it means planning around what is already 'my routine'.

Had a look at some hotels on line last night in London, I've found one I quite like the look of and its very central to the Hyde Park area. I can't wait now, I am very excited at the prospect of meeting all of the wonderful people I speak to on line. It will be a day that will be in my memory forever.

I read a newspaper article last night about Craigs life, in the article his Mum said that "every breath we take, we take for granted" I was very moved by it, lets take a breath for Craig!! please sponsor us now! http://www.justgiving.com/emileysangels

Sensible training

2006-06-07T10:05:00.000+01:00

Today I have had a five minute walk followed by a five minute run followed by a 15 minute walk. I can't believe how good I felt after I had finished?? It really is the correct way to cool down after a run! When I got back home, I was relaxed and was able to do my stretches without being all 'wobbly' I didn't have to hold onto something whilst stretching out.

Today I have a lovely day of house work planned,but I'm going to start with the ironing in the garden whilst the sun is out. I have a feeling that when Grace goes to clinic next Tuesday she will be put on home IV's so I had better get the house up to scratch before she is off school for a fortnight!

I am going to add some more links today (if I can work out how to do it?) so please do have a browse.

I will also post a picture of my beautifully manicured nails as they have a pink flower on, Emily would love them! I may post a full picture of myself one day, but I'm waiting for the day when I will be feeling the wind at my heels!!

Rest day!

2006-06-06T20:12:00.000+01:00

The title is aptly named, after Emily posted concerns that she hoped that everyone was training correctly so that she didn't lose any of her Angels due to injury before the day even arrived, I decided to read up a little more about training,I felt that I was taking it very easy, but felt that if I didn't run on just one day, I was letting myself down, not so, I will have problems later on if I don't build my muscles up slowly and at the correct pace now, how little I knew about running?

So today I have had a 20 minute walk, not a power walk, just a walk. I did feel that my calves were turning to concrete over the last few days and I have a feeling that the walk has done me good. I can't help feeling that I have been lazy though? Maybe I'll do ten thousand sit ups or something to make me feel better? well about fifty anyway!

As it was my rest day I had my nails done and coloured my hair too! so looking good today. I also made time to visit my sister-in-law from my first marriage, and we had a good chat, didn't realise how much I had missed her and what a good friend she was.

All in all it has been a good 'rest day', but I will run tomorrow, if only 5 minute runs with walks in between, apparently, so all of the running forums say, that after the 3rd or 4th week I should feel the pressure lift and feel like the wind is at my heels and can run without problems!! Well heres hoping, I let you know when I get there!

Sad day

2006-06-05T09:45:00.000+01:00

Iwent for my usual run yesterday (my circuit plus half again) and it went fine, this morning I did the same circuit but had to slow the pace down to a walk for a minute? Maybe because it was warm? I don't know or maybe I just needed to have a bigger drink before I left? Who knows,but none of that seems important today, one of the ladies from the forum who has been posting for sometime and giving us regular updates on her sons progress, informed us that he passed away yesterday afternoon. Its knocked us all for six, its really sad that these young people are still losing the battle against CF at such a young age!!

Tomorrow morning I will get up and run again and fight and fight to save their lives! please pleas sponsor me and help me in my fight - www.justgiving.com/emileysangels

Rest in Peace Craig xx

Jelly legs!!

2006-06-03T10:45:00.000+01:00

Went for my run this morning! and even though I had a late night, I decided to keep with my plan of furthering the distance! So I did a my usual circuit plus half again! It went surprisingly well? I kept going even though it meant I had to do the dreaded hill twice! my breathing got a little louder, but I managed it!!!

I have also discovered that I am famous amongst the dog walkers community? because I have had to run at different times this week with the children being off school, a couple of dog walkers that I ran past this morning shouted after me saying " we haven't seen you all week? are you still working hard?" I think I need to get a t'shirt printed with what I am in training for on it!! bit more promotion I think! it might also make me seem less ignorant when I don't stop for conversation, its tough that one?! lots of people want to talk to you but you don't want to stop!!

Anyway, I did some stretches when I got back and had a shower, when I walked down stairs afterwards and I came down really quick because my legs were like jelly and I couldn't stop myself, so my next target is to keep doing the new circuit until I can walk down the stairs comfortably before I move on to the next stage.

Thats better!

2006-06-02T13:34:00.000+01:00

I didn't get to do a run yesterday, it was just impossible to get out,no one home to watch Grace at anytime during the day. Mark came home at 6.10 from work, collected his kit and went right back out to football, he came home around 9.30 and by then I had worn myself out on the step reebok thingy!

Today I went for my run at 7.30, I ran it all the way again and pushed myself a bit, so I think its time to add to the distance? I don't know by how much though?

The sun came out today so I decided to put my cut off trousers on, but I couldn't do them up! can't understand it! they fit me last summer, I haven't put on more than 4lbs since last year! but its made me a bit down because I have been slogging my guts out, cutting down on my food intake and I haven't budged an ounce, infact I weigh a pound more than I did before I started training?! Hmmmph! Still, I think I look better generally!?

I was concerned that I would pile on pounds now that I had finished work? but with Grace at home this week i've done nothing but rush from one place to the next. She should be getting her Ineb very soon, I have heard such good things about them, it will definitely be much quicker in the mornings - her routine has to be very strict when we have to get done before school, nebulisers, especially old ones, take forever! and apparently the Ineb takes around 1 minute!! just cutting out a bit of time one the routine makes for a much less stressful day!

Looking forward to tomorrow mornings run already!

Still going strong??

2006-05-31T13:59:00.000+01:00

Went for my run this morning before Mark left for work. Its definitely getting easier to do, I'm not so breathless and I can complete my circuit without stopping. Its still very taxing on my legs going up the hill, but I can just about stand it now. I have no idea when I will be able to run a considerable distance without desparately wanting to get to the end of the session?! I think that some people just run because its something they love doing! but for now, I find I can't wait til the end! This morning I ran past a neighbour, just as I was almost home! and he started asking me questions! and in the end I had to stop. When I got into the house I did some reebok steps for 30 on each leg and then wound down again slowly and did some stretches!! I already feel that I can't afford not to do things right.

Grace had her first swimming lesson at her new group this morning, she is doing a crash course now everday Until Sunday, presently she is exhausted and lying down, they had an hour session today but the rest of the week is half an hour, that will probably be less taxing for her as she has been a bit 'down' this week. She is asleep on the sofa and she looks so happy and snuggly! Its hard to watch her like this and comprehend all the stuff she goes through and will have to go through in years to come, brings it all home really whats driving me to do this! I love her sooo much!

Today I have had to photograph the trainers, she took them off to go to sleep as soon as she had eaten her lunch!

Early Bird

2006-05-30T08:11:00.000+01:00

I've been for my run already this morning, I did it all no stops but still feel very breathless? I also have been gaining weight steadily, although I haven't really tried to cut down, I suppose I should now, I was just trying to get the running into my routine first (thats my excuse anyway) Adam ran with me this morning, he did it all with only one stop! don't 10 year olds just make you sick!

Things are hurting less now, but I stll think I need some low impact stuff like swimming or yoga?

Oh well off to have some muesli now!